Page 26 of Along Came Amor
Ava didn’t mention that Roman had given her his card and very clearly left the door open for another... appointment... in the future.
Damaris had raised her hands likeyou do youand said, “If that’s how you learn to establish boundaries, don’t let me stop you. There are definitely worse ways.”
Then they’d gossiped about their school’s principal, drank rosé, and watchedPride & Prejudice.
Now, Ava glanced over to where Michelle and Jasmine chatted with their heads together and snapped a photo of them. As much as she wanted to tell them about Roman, something held her back.
For one thing, there was always the chance that it would somehow get back to their grandmother. But it was more than that.
In their family, Ava was the perfect one. The good one. She and her cousins had joked about the Ranking, a rating system of who was in their grandmother’s good graces versus who was on the viejita’s shit list. For as long as Ava could remember, she had strived to be at the top of the Ranking.
And she had been. She’d been on the receiving end of Abuela’s praise for everything from her looks and behavior to her cooking skills and life choices. Poor Jasmine had often been subject to passive aggressive remarks, both for her decision to become a professional actor and her many breakups. And after Michelle had quit her corporate marketing job to go freelance, the old woman had berated her endlessly. Ava had sympathized, but it wasn’t until Hector had left her that she’d finally known the full force of her grandmother’s judgment and disapproval.
Ever since, she’d been trying to claw her way back to the top spot. And that meant being even more helpful, even more hard-working, even moreperfect, than before.
Ava busied herself taking photos of the showroom until the consultant came over to collect Jasmine. The woman introduced herself as Debbie in a thick Long Island accent. She was short, with olive-toned skin, a dark bob, and heavily applied mascara ringing her blue eyes.
“So, Jasmine, do you know what you’re looking for?” Debbie asked.
“I’m not sure.” Jasmine’s stunning features pinched with uncertainty. “I don’t want a typical wedding dress. Something glamorous, but not too extravagant.”
Michelle rolled her eyes. “Jas, it’s awedding dress. Extravagance is the point.”
“Exactly!” Titi Lisa jumped in. “I told her, you only get married once, so this is your chance to look like a queen.” Then Lisa glanced at Ava with an apologetic look. “I should say, your first wedding is, um...”
“It’s okay,” Ava murmured. “I know I’m divorced.”
Michelle opened her mouth—likely to come to Ava’s rescue—but Ava gave a brief shake of her head. Debbie, who probably had lots of experience navigating tense family dynamics, smoothly breached the awkwardness.
“Jasmine, why don’t I take you into the fitting room to show you some dresses you might like? While we’re doing that, the rest of you can each pick out something for Jasmine to try on.”
Following Debbie, Jasmine mouthed “sorry” to Ava, who waved her off.
Despite muttering about the exploitative nature of the wedding industrial complex, Jillian leaped to her feet andventured into the racks of wedding dresses farthest from where they all sat.
“Jilly’s not wrong,” Michelle mused as she strolled over to a rack full of white dresses encased in clear plastic. “This whole thing is a capitalist’s wet dream.”
Ava went over to another rack, but her aunt’s offhand comment stayed with her.
You only get married once.
And then, echoing unbidden in her mind, came Hector’s voice:I don’t want to be married to you anymore.
Eyes burning, Ava stared at the wedding dresses in front of her. She let out a shuddering breath and darted a look around.
Michelle was hunting for dresses on the next rack, and if she saw Ava, she’d know something was up. Ava hurried to the restroom and locked herself in one of the private stalls. There, she pressed her hands to her eyes and willed herself not to cry.
No matter how many times Colleen had told her that crying was healthy and natural, Ava hadn’t been able to uproot her deeply ingrained beliefs. Crying was bothersome. Crying was “making a scene.” Crying wasmessy.
Ava almost never cried, and now would be the worst time to fall apart. The others would worry, Jasmine would feel awful, and Ava would be racked with guilt for bringing down Jasmine’s special experience.
Not only that, Titi Lisa would absolutely tell Titi Val, Michelle’s mother, who would tell her sister, Titi Nita, who would tell Abuela, and then it would be athing.
Did you hear Ava cried at Jasmine’s dress shopping trip?
They’d transition from a pityingAy, benditoto a scornfulWhat’s her problem?in the blink of an eye.
Ava didn’t miss Hector, but knowing she’d failed at the mostimportant thing her family expected of her wore her down like a cliff buffeted not by the sea, but wave after wave of criticism.
