Page 90 of Along Came Amor
On the king-size mattress, there was still enough room between them for another person. Tempting as it was to close the distance and kiss him, it would go against the rules she’d laid out. She needed to remember why she’d implemented them in the first place.
Their situation was too complicated, too messy. This man wasn’t for her.
Even if she wanted him to be.
So instead of kissing him, she shifted away and tried to get up quietly. The bed creaked and the sheet fell to her waist. When she glanced over at him, his eyes had opened a crack. They were trained on her breasts, and under his gaze, her nipples tightened into hard peaks, as if straining toward him.
“Good morning,” she said, her voice husky with sleep and desire. Old Ava whispered that she should cover her nudity, but New Ava ignored the command. While it might be wrong to tease him this way, she loved the way he looked at her, like she was a priceless work of art he was privileged to lay eyes on. Her body soaked up his attention like parched earth during a rainstorm.
Roman cleared his throat. His gaze shifted away from her as he eased himself into a sitting position. “How are you feeling?”
“Much better. Thank you.” That wasn’t enough. This man had acted as her bedside nurse all night after she’d bitten his head off. “Roman, I—”
“Shh.” Before she could continue, he popped a digital thermometer in her mouth. Beyond him, the bedside table was littered with empty water bottles, along with Roman’s tablet,phone, and glasses. While they waited for the temperature reading, he touched the back of his hand to her forehead, his fingertips dragging gently along her hairline and teasing the sensitive baby hairs.
She did feel warm, but now it was because of him and not a lingering fever. She ached for him to trail his hand down the curve of her neck to her breasts. As she imagined him cupping their soft weight, his lips and tongue lavishing her nipples, her body tingled.
But when the thermometer beeped, all he did was pluck it from her mouth and squint at the tiny screen before setting it aside.
“No fever.” Before she could open her mouth to respond, he added, “I want to apologize. I was a total ass yesterday.”
Her eyebrows leaped in surprise. She hadn’t expected him to broach the topic so soon. But when had Roman ever beat around the bush?
“You kind of were,” she agreed, even though Old Ava wanted to brush it aside with a dismissiveIt’s okay.
Despite her teasing tone, his expression was serious. “I’m used to being in scenarios where the final decision comes down to me, and other people rely on my ability to decide quickly and confidently. But you were right—you know your cousin better than I do. I should have asked for your input and listened to what you had to say. I’m deeply sorry, Ava.”
His sincerity made her stomach drop out like she had crested the top of a roller coaster, not because she didn’t believe him, but because she wasn’t used to such open and honest communication. Had she and Hector ever spoken this clearly to each other?
If they had, would they still be married today?
Ava spoke slowly around her discomfort. “I can appreciate how that approach serves you well in your work. And it’s not that I can’t see the benefit in being decisive. But I operate differently. For one thing, I want to make sure I’m making therightchoice. I also need time to process information, and make sure I’ve fully thought about it. That’s what helpsmemove forward with confidence.”
“I’m starting to see that. From now on, I promise to give you space to process. You don’t have to ask for it.”
“Thank you.” And because it needed to be explicitly stated, she added, “For that, and for last night. Thank you for taking care of me.”
“Ava.” His brows creased, and his voice was pained. “You don’t have to thank me.”
“I do, though. You thought of everything. You stayed with me all night, even though we’d argued.”
He made a small sound of distress. “I would never hold that against you, or punish you for telling me how you felt.”
“Hector did.” The words squeezed through a sudden tightness in her throat. “If I ever expressed any sort of negative emotion, he’d get defensive and withdraw. Then, regardless of what started it, I’d end up apologizing for having feelings. So it just got easier... not to.”
“Not to... have feelings?”
She nodded, and because the look on his face said he wanted to hold her—and because she wanted to let him—she drew her knees, still covered by the sheet, up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, holding herself. “It wasn’t hard. When I was a kid, I’d get in trouble anytime I got upset about something. If the message you receive your whole life is ‘be good,’ the idea of being bad is untenable. So I just hold it all in.”
His chest heaved like he was the one holding back, and his voice came out ragged. “Ialwayswant to know how you feel. Even if you’re mad at me.Especiallyif you’re mad at me. How can I fix it if I don’t know?”
She gave a little shrug and toyed with her necklace, the only thing she was wearing. “Luckily you seem to be the only person I can’t hold back around.”
“Good.” His tone was savage, and his fists flexed on his thighs. “Fuck, Ava, I was so scared when I couldn’t find you.”
She saw lingering traces of his fear etched across his handsome face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t—”
“Don’t apologize,” he murmured, and one of his hands slid toward her across the bed. “Just let me hold you. Please, for the love of god, let me hold you.”
