Page 138 of Along Came Amor
Jasmine walked in, saw the sign, and covered her face. “Oh my god, Ronnie.”
Behind her, Ronnie wagged a finger in the air. “Don’t blame it on me! That was all Michelle.”
“Only because I thought ‘last hoedown’ was tacky,” Michelle said breezily. “Come on, Sister Bachelorette, time to take a seat.”
Jasmine followed her, then came to a halt when she saw the other side of the chair. She let out a laughing groan.
Ava came around her to see what was so funny. A pillow waited on Jasmine’s chair, embroidered with the words, “Bach That Ass Up.”
“You would not believe how many terrible bachelorette puns there are,” Michelle said gleefully.
The partygoers got drinks, either from the open bar or the wait staff rotating around the room. When the lights dimmed, they took their seats. Jasmine sat in her decorated chair, with Ava and Michelle on either side of her. Patricia sat on Ava’s other side, and various family members filed around them.
Music continued to play in the background, and everyone chatted until the spotlight came on. The room fell quiet as a short, curvy woman entered stage right. She was pale, with brown hair held back in a low ponytail and tastefully done stage makeup. She was dressed all in black—blazer, slacks, heels—except for a sparkling silver bustier top. She carried a glittery silver microphone.
“Hello, my lovelies!” The emcee’s voice was rich and resonant, with a playful lilt. “How are we tonight?”
In response, there were whoops and cheers and a “Wepa!” or three.
“I’m your host, Taylor Tirado.” Taylor ambled around the stage as she spoke conversationally into the mic. “My boys andI have come all the way to the enchanting island of Puerto Rico to celebrate our beautiful bride-to-be. Let’s make some noise for Jasmine!”
The crowd, already well on their way to getting drunk, cheered raucously.
“Jasmine and Ashton had a bit of a storybook romance, am I right? The classic tale of girl meets boy, boy films TV show with girl, and girl and boy become Hollywood’s latest power couple.”
Everyone laughed, and when Ava glanced over at Jasmine, she saw her cousin was smiling. There were a lot of ways that sentence could have gone—boy hides secret child, girl becomes media scapegoat—but Ava guessed Michelle had signed off on the script, so there wouldn’t be anything offensive.
Unless this was a roast. You never knew with Michelle.
Oh well, it was too late to worry about that now.
On stage, Taylor continued giving a humorous account of Jasmine’s romance with Ashton, along with references to their acting roles. The crowd seemed entertained, and Jasmine took it well. After a couple minutes, Taylor came to a stop at the center of the stage.
“Now, Jasmine,” she said. “I know you love Ashton and you’re ready to make the ‘same dick every day’ commitment. But before you ride off into the sunset for your happily-ever-after, we want to ensure you’ve made therightchoice. To help you out, I’ve brought along a selection of extremely eligible bachelors. Come on out, boys!”
The music rose, Adam Lambert’s cover of “Holding Out for a Hero.” The lights went dark, save for a single spotlight on Taylor, standing in the center.
“Tonight, The Adonis Experience brings you... The Bachelorette Experience,” Taylor said over the music. Around her,several men ran out and took their places around the edge of the stage, standing with their backs to the audience. There were three men lining the front of the stage, and two on each of the sides. “Each one is a romantic fantasy come to life. Jasmine, are you ready to meet your bachelors?”
“Yes!” Jasmine yelled, and all the guestswoo-ed.
“Let’s meet our first Adonis!” Taylor waved her arm in a flourish and a spotlight fell on one of the men standing downstage stage right. The angle of the lighting made it hard to decipher any details other than his physique and attire. He had broad shoulders and a trim waist, and he was dressed like a cowboy, complete with hat, boots, and chaps.
Taylor provided the introduction with a tongue-in-cheek tone. “This rough and tumble rancher is looking for a little filly to rideall night long.”
Her words were met with catcalls and cheers. The man mimed galloping on a horse and spinning a lasso.
“Save a horse, ride a cowboy!” Titi Val called out from behind Ava.
Michelle turned around with wide eyes and a delighted expression. “Mom! Show some decorum.”
Valentina stuck her tongue out at her youngest daughter.
The spotlight over the cowboy fell dark and one on the other side of the stage lit up, highlighting a slender blond man in a long black coat with dark sunglasses. He executed a series of fluid dance moves like he was at a rave.
“This creature of the night is a perfect gentleman,” Taylor said, then waited a beat. “He’ll ask for permission before hecomes inside.”
Howls of laughter from the audience. The vampire turned his head and snapped his teeth.
