Page 48 of Merciless Promise
“Aren’t you going to change or something?” he asked me.
I did turn in that moment, then shrugged. “Probably not. There’s nothing wrong with what I have on.”
And there wasn’t. I was in a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. It wasn’t the normal attire I would wear when heading out, but my motivation to do more than lie in bed or walk around this godforsaken place and mope was zilch.
“Have it your way,” he finally said, before I heard him head upstairs.
I closed my eyes at the sound of his voice, and I knew he was still displeased with me. The playful bantering and wickedly hot sex we used to have were basically over. He resented me for multiple things, and if I didn’t end this soon, I would grow to resent more than myself and my choices. I would also resent him, and once I did, I wouldn’t be able to live with him. The only problem was that I had little idea how I would live without him, either.
Kingston soon rejoined me downstairs, and I knew he was ready to leave. After grabbing my stuff, I stepped outside and realized this was the first time in days that I’d been out of the loft. The sunshine was brighter than I’d ever remembered it being, and I couldn’t tell if the slight goosebumps rising on my arms were from the light breeze or the way he stood so close to me without actually touching me.
Do you miss me at all?
It was a ridiculous thing to think, so I forced that question and any like it from my mind. He helped me into the car, which was more than I thought he would do at this juncture. Once he took his place beside me, the enclosed space seemed to close in on me. He was so close that our legs were touching, and his scent was everywhere, enveloping me in all things Kingston.
The drive to the doctor’s office was spent in silence, and the visit itself was even shorter. I’d basically gone into Dr. Kane’s office and had a short ultrasound done along with a few tests. With their in-house lab, they were able to tell me that my hormone levels looked great, and she was equally as pleased with what she saw during the ultrasound.
“There’s no reason to think the two of you won't get pregnant again. Perhaps it was just not the right time before, but I have no reason to think that you won’t be able to conceive and carry a child full term.”
“Are you sure?” Kingston asked her.
I had no idea why he cared, and almost said as much, but I kept my mouth shut as the two of them talked to one another about me as if I wasn’t in the same room. To make a baby, he would have to touch me, and over the course of the last few days, he likely would’ve rather singed his fingerprints off rather than do so.
“I would still like to see you back here in a month, Mrs. Brannington,” the doctor said to me, and I finally snapped out of my lethargy and nodded.
On our way out of the office, I made the appointment, then silently followed Kingston to the elevators. Once inside, he looked over at me. “I’m hungry. We should go to dinner.”
“Whatever for?” I asked him. “We can talk when you get home. I just want to be alone.”
Midway down, he used his fist to smash the stop button, and the elevator came to a jarring stop. I stepped back until my ass hit the railing, and he advanced on me. The moment he cupped the side of my face, I forced my eyelids shut to stop the threatening tears behind them.
“The last few days have been hard on us both, and?—”
“On us both?” I asked as I found my voice, and didn’t even bother trying to hide a single ounce of disdain from it. “You’ve gone on as if your life wasn’t rocked off its axis while I was left to deal with guilt over the miscarriage and your fucked up attitude regarding Princeton.”
“I understand that, which is why I think we should go to dinner and discuss our future.”
My eyes widened at that because my worst fears were coming true. Kingston was about to wash his hands of me, either by leaving me defenseless to fend for myself, or by turning me over to someone who should’ve been a bigger monster than even him. And one, I could no longer think that about.
“Fine,” I muttered, which obviously pleased him enough because he restarted the elevator and we finished our descent down without any further delay.
Barely legal when Princeton had been run down, I had been too emotional at the time to truly investigate on my own, and also drunk. His death had driven me to the bottle, and I could hardly even remember most days. My Daideó had handled everything related to his bills and had even tried to keep as much of Ekaterina’s story out of the media, although he’d failed greatly with that endeavor. I could still remember her tear-stricken face as she recalled being scared as her reason to flee.
And she had been scared of Princeton, a personable jock who got along with everyone. He’d been everything I hadn’t been, and everything I still wasn’t. My brother deserved to live a full life, yet I was the one who was spared. And Cillian. If the vengeful Gods wanted to take someone, and our parents, aunts, and uncles hadn’t been enough, he took my kid brother, too.
I’d been angry at the world, and I still was because all these years later, it was just as unfair as it had been back then. The rage I harbored had festered inside of me, and I needed to get vengeance. Marrying Ekaterina had never been part of the initial plan, but plans did change. Mine had. And maybe her losing ourbaby had a part in a greater one that was bigger than her. Bigger than me.
But things had started to change even before that fateful day. Somehow, I had actually grown to like my wife. To an outsider, they would think I was being funny for even thinking a thing like that. Of course, I was supposed to like my wife. I was supposed to love her. Only, I hadn’t when we’d first said our vows. I couldn’t say the same with any honesty now.
Falling for her had been the best and worst thing that could’ve ever happened. We were tethered to one another by those fake vows, only they didn’t need to be lies. It didn’t matter anyway because she hated me, and I could see it in her eyes every time I looked down into them.
“Is this going to be how things are from now on?” I asked her.
She huffed, but otherwise said nothing, which only drew my ire more. Deciding against dinner at her favorite steakhouse, I reversed course and headed back home. Tonight, we needed to put our cards out on the table, and it was best done in private. The last thing I needed was an audience. I couldn’t let any word get back to my grandfather, or else this entire marriage would’ve been for nothing, as he would erase me from his will anyway.
“W-where are we going?” she asked me nervously.
“To the house. You’re obviously not ready to go out and act civilized.”
