Page 76 of One More Day
In my mind I hear her laughing at his jokes, I see their hands touching across the table, I see her smile as they send and receive messages just like we do.
I feel a bit queasy.
I’ll go inside and stick on the kettle then get the dogs back inside. Maybe a hot cup of tea will help me settle for the night. Maybe I should offer Rose a cuppa too?
No, I shouldn’t. It’s doing things like that which has led to me feeling this way about her and it must stop.
It’s time I was in bed. Wine, beer and emotion is never a good mixture.
Four Days to Christmas
Chapter Twenty-One
Rose
The cottage is eerily silent this morning.
It’s cold and ghostly. It’s empty. It’s just me and George and although that has been the case many times over the past week, I’ve grown quite used to seeing Charlie and Max here when I wake up every day.
But now for the first time I’m really feeling the quiet out here, and even though this is what I craved since I got here, it seems strange to be alone. I turn on some music on the old radio in the kitchen, tuning into the comfort of Donegal’s local station Highland Radio which makes me feel a little less isolated. They’re playing upbeat Christmas carols, but so far they don’t faze me.
My mood has dipped, but what was I expecting when I came into the kitchen this morning? Charlie’s classical music? Dodging around him while he made breakfast in his bare feet, calling for Max who is usually causing havoc with the starlings in the garden? Hearing him sing in the shower or just potter around upstairs?
Whatever I was expecting, it’s not here and it’s knocked me off centre.
‘So, what will we do today, George?’ I ask my furry old friend. ‘But first things first before you answer, let’s get you fed.’
I’ve a banging headache, so even before I see to George my first mission is to drink some water, but when I go to the fridge I see a note on the board.
So we’re back to leaving messages and texts after last night’s awkward walk home? The sight of his writing does draw me in, I admit.
I fed George. You were fast asleep. Have a great day, Rose.
I can’t help but smile, so I wipe it off and write my reply.
Thank you.
Then I remember his words at the Christmas Fayre, and the smile disappears from my face. I didn’t ask him to follow me home last night. He didn’t have to leave his company for my sake, no matter how suffocated he was feeling.
I need to get out of here. I need a change of scenery or some distraction at least before I analyse and overthink every aspect of Charlie so far.
And then I remember I’ve no car. I’m stuck.
One thing about being here is that when you’ve walked the beaches, admired the views, drunk lots of Guinness andexplored the forest, with no car there aren’t too many options on what to do in winter unless it involves cosying down by the fire and watching a movie or reading a book.
I don’t think I’ve the concentration span for that now.
It’s all very well for Charlie. He can jump in his car for a spin with Max and go explore further afield, into the Glenveagh Mountains less than an hour away if he feels like it, or into the bigger town of Letterkenny to have a look around the shops.
Myoptions are very limited.
I lift my phone as a wave of loneliness overcomes me.
It’s four days to Christmas. I would dearly love to see my niece and nephew. I’d dearly love to see my sister. I could really do with some of her wise words right now, if only I could swallow my pride and go to see them all. I wonder if they are missing me as much as I am them?
You’ve spent two Christmas Days alone,Sis, Sarah said to me only last week in our last conversation.Don’t feel like you have to do another one for our sake. We want you home. We really do. Cry on my shoulder. You know I’m here for you.
Yet when I explained how I simply couldn’t face it, she was perfectly understanding.
