Page 34 of Every Christmas Eve
‘Are you sure you don’t want to swap roles?’ I asked him for the third or fourth time. He was sprightly and fit, but I’d noticed that he couldn’t stop talking for long enough to fully concentrate on the job at hand. ‘I can reach higher than you think, you know. I’ve grown since you last saw me. Look. No, don’t look for real or you might fall!’
We’d spent the best part of two days lighting up evergreen firs on the lawns, we’d scrubbed and polished windows until they glistened in the midday winter sun, and every room on the ground level of Ballyheaney House was a feast for the senses, with glowing hearths, polished floors and the smell of turf mixed with cinnamon and citrus filling the air.
In just a few hours, this place would be full of friendly chit-chat, song, and hustle and bustle; Christmas Eve was something I looked forward to all year round.
And in just a few minutes, Ben would be home to join in on this year’s celebrations.
‘Nobody brings cosy comfort and festive cheer to this place like you two do. The ultimate dream team,’ Cordeliatold us as she made her way to the kitchen. She and I had bonded recently over boyfriend trouble – hers – and I’d so enjoyed getting to know her much more over recent days.
‘Put our names on at least two cookies and three gingerbread men,’ Uncle Eric told his niece. ‘Each, that is. We’ll call you for the big pre-party Ballyheaney Christmas Eve toast very soon.’
‘No, wait until Ben comes,’ a high-pitched and rather out-of-place voice piped up from behind me. ‘Tilda said his flight was in at three, so she should be home with him any minute.’ Olivia Major clasped her hands with unashamed glee, which made me feel far too competitive for my own good.
She was a vision in her cream jodhpurs, fitted black jacket and riding boots, framed by cascades of tumbling red hair. Worst of all, she was returning from spending the afternoon riding on Little Eve around the village. Now that was a step too far in my book. Not only did she have her manicured scarlet nails set on clawing into Ben, she had also taken over the care of our precious Little Eve. And she did it so well too.
‘Perhaps, Olivia, you could offer some assistance in the kitchen? Cordelia is slaving away in there on her own, so I’m sure she’d welcome a bit of help,’ Uncle Eric said to her.
I could hear the sting in his voice. Uncle Eric was right on my level when it came to Olivia. He knew that to do such a thing would be very far removed from her grand inner notions. She was much too precious to bake or cook, even though she didn’t mind traipsing in there with horse manure on the boots she was on her way to discarding in the boot room. Being hidden away in the kitchen was not her style.
‘Oh, Eric, I would love to,’ she said on her return, ‘but I need to change into something a little more suitable before Tilda gets back with Ben. I can’t be around hot ovens in smelly jodhpurs ahead of meeting him for the first time. Mind you don’t fall, Eric. Maybe you should listen to Lou and let her do the donkey work instead? That’s what she’s here for, after all.’
She walked upstairs with her nose in the air. I closed my eyes and counted to ten.
‘Have you ever heard of the saying “familiarity breeds contempt”?’ Uncle Eric muttered as he slowly clambered down the steps of the ladder. ‘That one thinks she was born and bred here. She was only meant to come for a bit of work experience in the summer, but she’s hanging in like a dung fly hoping that Ben will arrive home today like a knight in shining armour and fall madly in love with her. I know my nephew. There’s no chance of that happening.’
Uncle Eric patted himself down. I suspected he was a lot gladder to be back on solid ground than he was letting on.
My tummy flipped at the thought of seeing Ben again, even though we’d spent more time together that year than ever before.
He’d flown home to be with me for my father’s funeral in early spring, when an accident on the factory floor claimed my precious daddy’s life in a cruel heartbeat. Right before he died, Dad had taught me to drive, and taken me to a rock concert: he was helping me to bridge the gap as I became a young adult and there was so much more we had planned for that summer and the future. The raw pain of grief made mewant to run away, so I did exactly that in the summer with my mother’s blessing. I ran away from it all.
Ben came to see me there, in New Jersey, for a few days, and held me tight as he mopped up my tears, but no matter how much we talked or no matter how much we grew closer and closer, spending those summer nights between the sheets where the passion was inescapable, neither Ben nor I made the move to commit further.
‘I know you have girlfriends in Paris,’ I stuttered out one morning when we were having coffee before my shift at work in Wildwood.
‘I’m not as popular as you might think,’ he laughed. ‘Though I’ve no doubt you’ve many admirers too.’
I couldn’t deny it. I never took things seriously, but now that my A levels were over a whole new social scene had opened up where I partied and dated occasionally.
‘So why do we keep drifting back to each other, letting our paths cross or deliberately making them do so?’ I asked him.
He shrugged.
‘Because we want to,’ he said. ‘It will stop when we don’t want to any more, though I can’t see that happening.’
‘Fair enough,’ I said, stirring my coffee, even if I secretly wished for more.
Distance was a huge obstacle, but why didn’t one of us suggest we give it a proper try? Why did everything that happened in my life, good or bad, make me want to run and tell him first? And he was the same. Apart from his love life and mine, we knew everything there was to know about each other.
Physically, we knew every inch of each other too. We were lovers as well as friends, with a passion we both agreed was incomparable with anything we could have hoped for.
‘That’s him,’ I said when I heard Tilda’s car pull up outside. I was doing my best not to let the joy I felt be so palpable, but my glistening eyes gave me away.
‘That’s him,’ said Uncle Eric, as Cordelia bounced into the hallway, followed by a very sultry Olivia, who pouted and preened herself as she waited.
We all watched the huge front door until it clicked open.
‘Welcome home!’ we clapped and cheered in unison when Ben and his mother came inside, their shoulders already damp from the afternoon sleet outside.
