Page 60 of Every Christmas Eve
‘Not as bad as before, but the clock is ticking,’ she says. ‘Not as bad as my father’s mistake when he turned our whole lives upside down. It took years to get back on our feet after that.’
‘How sad,’ I reply. ‘And the famous Ballyheaney House Charity Afternoon Tea Party was never to see the light of day again.’
‘Until now, baby!’ says Cordelia, standing up with her arms outstretched to shift the energy. ‘We’re back and we’re even better, bitches. Even the weather is on our side. There’ll be no rain this year, that’s for sure, ‘cos it’s all in feckin’ Spain where I left it.’
Her enthusiasm lifts my mood a little.
‘The dream team,’ I chuckle. ‘Isn’t that what we used to call ourselves?’
‘The absolute best around,’ she says, reaching for a high five. ‘Ben sent me pictures of your centrepieces for the tables, Lou. They’re amazing, and such a nice touch to remember Dad with the white roses. Thank you. You really do think of everything.’
I can’t help but smile, knowing my efforts haven’t gone unnoticed.
‘I chose New Dawn white roses in memory of your dad and his walled garden, fir branches from the shores of Lough Beg for everlasting connection, and gold ribbon to represent the prestige and pride in Ballyheaney House,’ I explain further. ‘The pine cones I threw in purely for aesthetics, but yes, I’m glad you think it all works.’
She sits back down again and takes in her surroundings, looking in wonder at the old-fashioned grandfather clock as it chimes midday, the dinky net curtains that belonged to the previous owner and that I simply couldn’t replace, and the framed black-and-white photos on the walls depicting scenes from our village, including one of the bronze statue of a turf digger outside the historic house Bellaghy Bawn.
‘We need this as a family more than anyone could ever know,’ she says quietly. ‘I’m still pinching myself that Ben agreed to being part of it after all he’s been through with losing Stephanie.’
Her eyes skirt around the room some more.
‘That was hard for you all,’ I say. ‘So heartbreaking. I can only imagine how hopeless you all felt watching Ben and Ava wrestle with grief for all these years. It’s a cruel old world.’
‘She was something special,’ she tells me. ‘So positive, so graceful and so damn realistic, even when facing up to her own mortality.’
‘I’d love to know more about her,’ I say, genuinely touched at how Cordelia is opening up to me.
Cordelia smiles as she remembers her late sister-in-law.
‘She adored Ava of course,’ she tells me. ‘Children were high up on her priority list. She used to joke how she’d love to fill the house with them. She loved this time of year too, with all the hustle and bustle, but her favourite season was summer. She’d never miss a glimmer of sunshine. I think of her every time I’m basking in the sun in Spain, knowing she’s really not that far away as long as the sun is out.’
‘She sounds like an angel,’ I say, shifting in my chair. ‘I’m so sorry you lost her.’
Cordelia lets out a deep sigh.
‘My brother has made some silly mistakes in his love life, but Stephanie made up for them all,’ she said. ‘She reminded me a lot of you. The same tenacity, the same creative energy and an endearing loyalty to those she loved. I’d easily class losing you as Ben’s biggest mistake, though I’m sure he’d come right back at me with a list of some of the mistakes I’ve made too.’
I’m very touched at Cordelia’s honesty. It’s good to hear a little more about Ben’s late wife, who sounds like a darling.
‘Stephanie was adamant that Ben and Ava should make the best life together as soon as they felt strong enough to,’ she says. ‘She told us all how she’d cheer them on from the clouds above. She joked that if they didn’t learn to be happy without her, she would haunt them both.’
We sit in silence, both lost in thoughts of our own, though mine quickly drift back to the night before and how anyglimmer of happiness that might have been coming our way had been quickly squashed by Ben’s big revelation.
‘He told me about his five-month relationship with Olivia Major,’ I blurt out, addressing the elephant in the room at last. ‘Or was it six months?’
‘Oh shit,’ she laughs. ‘What a joke that was!’
‘That’s one way of putting it,’ I say, doing my best not to scowl. ‘I had no idea they were a thing, Cor. And I’m kicking myself for reacting this way, as I’ve no right to feel anything about what happened after me.’
Cordelia frowns before taking a deep breath.
‘So that’s why he was so quiet over breakfast this morning,’ she tells me. ‘I kept asking how you two were getting along, meaning the party planning with a hint of whatever else may have happened by now, but he was so vague and kept changing the subject to Ava and her newly found baking skills, or how she can now whip Uncle Eric in a game of chess.’
I shrug.
‘Five or sixmonths,’ I say to her. ‘How did he tolerate her for six days, never mind six whole months?’
‘Five or six whole months with the safety of the English Channel and the Irish Sea between them,’ she explains.
