Page 79 of Every Christmas Eve
‘His one true love?’ I ask her. ‘Who said that?’
‘Uncle Eric said that you are Dad’s one true love, so he needs to be careful not to lose you again,’ she sobs. ‘If that’s the case, then why did he marry my mummy? Why didn’t he marry you instead? Hearing that makes me think he didn’t love her in the first place. He loved you more.’
I shake my head, wanting to shake Uncle Eric too for putting such notions into a child’s head, even though I’m sure he didn’t mean any harm. Well, this changes things entirely. No wonder the poor child is confused.
‘Let’s start walking home and we can talk more,’ I suggest. ‘Would that be all right?’
She nods, her little face furrowed into a frown. I attempt to crawl out of the hut without scraping my knees or grazing my hands again. Thankfully, when we get outside, the rain has subsided into a light drizzle, leaving the ground mulchy and slippery beneath our feet.
‘I think us grown-ups have some explaining to do,’ I say as we walk side by side towards the boardwalk. ‘Ava, your daddy found his perfect life partner when he met your mum.Cordelia was telling me all about her and she sounds so wonderful. Please don’t listen to what Uncle Eric said. The whole family were utterly heartbroken to lose her, which says a lot for how much she was loved by you all.’
She fixes my coat against her chin, still too cold to brave the elements without it.
‘Dad says he feels her near him sometimes, but I never get that,’ she says when we’re about halfway across the boardwalk. She stops, then bends down and lifts a twig before throwing it into the lake.
A pair of swans fly above our heads, so closely that we duck down to avoid their swooping wings from brushing our heads.
‘Wow!’ she says. ‘Did you feel that?’
This makes her giggle. It makes me laugh too.
‘Did you know that when two swans fall in love, they mate for life?’ I say to Ava as we watch them land on the lake under the moonlight, their huge grey-white wings flapping until they find their balance. ‘Watch how they glide together, almost synchronised in every way as a sign of their deep love. They are fiercely protective of each other, especially when they’ve a young cygnet. And that baby becomes the most important thing in the whole world for them. The swan mum and dad would do anything for her. Anything.’
Ava’s eyes flicker back and forth as she concentrates. Her head tilts slightly and she purses her lips in deep thought.
‘Your dad has told me how happy he and your mum were together, Ava,’ I continue. ‘He didn’t want anyone else but his very beautiful, caring wife. He chose to marry her, and theypledged to be together for as long as they both lived, which they did, just like the swans do.’
I watch as Ava’s eyes follow the gracious birds until they almost disappear into the distance.
‘But what if one of the swans dies?’ she asks me. ‘What does the other one do then?’
I thought she might say as much.
‘When one swan dies, the other grieves for a very long time,’ I explain, glad that I’d heard all about this from Nana Molly when I was a child. ‘The other swan will usually be extremely sad and lonely. He or she will have a broken heart.’
‘Forever?’ she asks me.
‘Sometimes forever,’ I tell her. ‘Though sometimes he or she might meet a new mate, meaning they get to be happy again, sometimes for the rest of their life. It doesn’t mean they didn’t love the first swan, of course. Or that the first swan will ever be forgotten. Our hearts are made for lots of love, Ava. Even when they’re broken.’
She takes a deep breath.
‘So he won’t ever forget her?’ she asks me.
‘Never,’ I say straight back. ‘And you won’t forget your mum either, because she can’t be too far away when you are here. You are part of her. Ava, your precious young mother left everyone who loved her one of the favourite parts of her behind. You.’
Ava puts her hand to her chest, then looks up to the sky as the moon shines brightly through the clouds. We both stare in wonder at the drastic change in weather, then our eyes meet for the first time since I found her huddled in the hut.
‘Look, it’s her!’ Ava tells me, her face now full of hope. ‘She loved the sun and she loved the moon so much. Not as much as she loved me and Dad of course.’
‘That’s her saying hello,’ I whisper, putting my hand on her shoulder. ‘See? You only have to look or ask, and she’ll be right beside you every step of the way.’
Ava beams a smile almost as bright as the moon above us.
‘So I’ve nothing to worry about,’ she says, but I think it’s more to herself than it is to me. ‘There’s enough love for everyone, even when a heart is broken.’
‘You’d better believe it,’ I tell her.
We walk along the rest of the boardwalk in silence, and when we get to the car park at the Ballydermot Road, Ben is there waiting for his number-one girl, with his arms outstretched and tears in his eyes.
