Page 7 of Darkness Consuming
I sadly know what he sees.
An angry woman, clinging to the physical strength she has to make up for her mental instability. I hate that I’m like this. I hate that I doubt my reality.
Nollix isn’t real.
My fingers skim along his corded arms, rubbing back and forth against the veins of his forearms.
He isn’t real but his presence that my mental breakdown is gifting me is nice.
It’d be nice to have someone to talk to.
“I never told you how attractive I thought you were.” My voice is steady as I recall how often I watched him; quietly appraising him but never speaking to him. “Goddess, even your veins are sexy. How is that possible? Veins aren’t sexy.”
A shaking laugh rumbles through him. It’s a delicious sound that fills my chest with an odd feeling of happiness.
“You think my veins are sexy?” His fingers trail up my arm, skimming across my flesh with that tingling energy of his. “Believe me when I tell you, you haven’t even seen the best part yet, Vi.”
Warmth floods my chest at his clever words. Words always seem to flow smoothly from him in the most perfect ways as if thought isn’t needed, only confidence.
He makes life seem so easy. Carefree even.
“I hated how much I loved your arrogance. I hated how much I loved when you touched me. I … loved the way you kissed me.” I continue my slow stroking across his strong forearm, keeping my attention fixed there as I confess everything I wish I’d said to him.
“Mmm… I think we’re getting distracted here.”
“Did you like it?” My head tilts against the soft pillow when I look up at him.
His brows raise, his mouth open as a hesitant smile creeps across his features.
“Wow, this is not how I thought this conversation was going to go.”
“Did you hate it?” My voice sounds empty and dejected but it isn’t because of him. It’s because of myself.
“What? No.” His palm trails lower until it settles against my hip, his thumb brushing against the exposed skin of my side. “No, I didn’t hate it. Fuck, what kind of question is that? I—I loved kissing you. I loved watching you relent to me. I loved the way your body felt beneath mine. I loved that fucking sound you made just as you—”
“I don’t think we should be talking about that.” The energy sweeping through my core is the most I’ve felt in weeks. My thighs shift just thinking about it. “I wish you were really here.” My eyes close while my throat grows tight as I trample down the emotion.
“Vi, where’s here? Tell me where you are and I’ll come get you.”
This must be a trick. A way for my father to find out what I know.
Or is it just my pathetic mind trying to ease some of my loneliness?
I turn away from him. The blankets shift beneath my body as I roll until my back is to him. The dark panels of the wall hold my focus.
A heaviness clings to my limbs. I’m so tired but I won’t be able to sleep. At some point my body will shut down. In the next day or two I’ll fall asleep randomly.
But it won’t be tonight.
“You’re not going to let me come save you, are you?” His palm pushes up and down my arm.
“I don’t need someone to save me, Nollix.”
“I know.”
The bed dips just slightly and I feel his warmth against me.
“Can I stay with you instead? Just stay here until you don’t need me to anymore?”
