Page 19 of Darkness Consuming
Chapter Nine
Desperate Times
Nollix
Three days. It’s been three days and I’m still thinking about the way she kissed me.
She kissed me like she actually wanted me.
That feeling’s never happened to me in my fucking life.
And unfortunately, it hasn’t happened since. Because I can’t fucking get to her. I’ve been smoking offerings like I’m trying to see the goddess herself and the only thing it’s given me is more pain.
Another deep inhale of the wafting smoke fills my lungs until I cough the stench back up.
“Let it go. You’re going to give yourself a damn nosebleed.” Link looks at me with dark rings circling his eyes. All the restful nights I’ve had with Violence have been the opposite for him. He’s sat here just waiting the entire time.
Let it go.
Yeah, that’s not going to happen.
I’ll eat this offering shit and force the high to take effect before I ever just give the fuck up.
I turn the coarse herbs over and over in my palm, trying to understand why it won’t do what I want it to do. Some people say there’s a tolerance for drugs. You need more and more to achieve the same effect after a while.
… Do I make another trip to the Reveries? Come crawling over to them like some sort of offering addict looking for their next fix?
Fuck, I guess I will.
I stand abruptly. The grass beneath me lays at bent angles. It’s pushed down and wilting from the abundance of time I spent in this exact same spot.
“Where are you going?”
“To the Reveries. This isn’t strong enough. I need a new offering, I think. I need—I need something else.”
Link’s bright eyes dart across my features. The look he gives me is one I’ve seen him give Jeriko a thousand times. It’s a look that says I’m out of my damn mind.
Maybe I am.
“You really think more offerings from those Elder Witches is the best solution?” Anger strikes across his face. “You haven’t even been looking for her any more. You’re just zoning out and hiding away with her. You’re choosing her company over her freedom. You’re being a selfish fuck.” His jaw snaps closed as if he’s forcing himself not to say more.
Rage rips through me but it doesn’t seem to process in my mind. I simply stare at him.
Because he’s right.
I can’t have her here with me, so I’m settling for just being there with her.
Which doesn’t help anyone.
“I’m still going. They knew. They knew I’d be able to find Violence. Their babbling bullshit better be able to tell me how they knew.”
Before I can even turn my back on my friend, he says something that stops me in my tracks.
“You’re right. Let’s go.”
Guilt sinks through my stomach.
It’s then that I remember he loves her.
Sadly, I know he loves her in a way I might never understand.
