Page 14 of Maiming
“Chaos found me actually.” My lashes lower and I can’t look at her. “I don’t really know what he saw in me, but he found me when I was so lost. He’s the sweetest man I’ve ever met. I just want you to know that.” I wanthimto know that. Once more I think about the awful relationship Rime told me about that Chaos had with Brylee, and a mixture of anger and sadness makes me want to repeat myself for everyone to hear.
He’s loved.
My chest aches and I can’t find another word to say to her.
“You’re so precious, Arlow. Everyone in this community has felt lost a moment or two in their life. Empty, uncertain of what the point of it all is.” I suddenly wonder if the human woman is talking about the shifters of this community at all. Or if she’s talking about herself.
Can thoughts so dark really exist in such a happy woman? She’s a mother of such sweet and assured men. Do mothers really feel lost? They’re always so caring and know all the right things to do and say. I can’t imagine it, but Helen makes me wonder if it’s true.
When I look up at her, her pretty eyes are wet. That smile is still there though.
“Ugh.” She sighs out a shaking breath as she pushes the tears from her eyes. “Can’t start crying now. Especially today. I hear you’re helping Myla make a big feast for us all tonight.”
Fuck. I forgot about that.
Could Helen just tell Myla how fucking precious I am? Would that help things in my favor?
I don’t think anything really can. Not in this department.
Maybe I’m just always a screw up.
Alloex strides through the front door with several text books in tow, pausing just as he closes it behind him. With a thud he pushes off his boots slowly, his brows scrunch oddly. His mother looks up at her youngest son. All four of us look at him.
And then he adds one more comment just to confirm that I am indeed a complete screw up.
“Why’s it reek of sex in here?”
Six
The Favorite
In my entirelife I’ve never been as nervous about a dinner as I am right now. Myla has every spice and herb I could ever think of, and I make use of them as I try to keep myself occupied with endless tasks. Keeping busy almost makes me forget how knotted my stomach feels right now.
“I love when young women know how to use a good bay leaf, don’t you Myla.” Helen passes me a big smile that sets me at ease.
She’s so encouraging. I’m happy she’s here. Grateful—I’m incredibly grateful she’s here. Even if she is complimenting me about a fucking bay leaf right now.
I won’t admit it, but I want to fit here. I want it so damn bad it’s all I think about. I want these men to be able to make a life with me. And that requires me to put in an effort when I’ve never done that before.
I’ll make Myla like me. She might not realize it, but she and I are going to have one of those disgustingly sweet mother daughter friendships … any day now.
Because I want Kain. And I want her to know that I’m someone worthy of having him.
When she looks to where I’m standing at the long white kitchen counter, Myla’s smile on her lips isn’t like Helen’s. Reserved. That’s the word I’d use to describe everything about Myla. Including her smile.
“How old are you, Arlow?” Myla continues slicing vegetables but she keeps her emerald eyes on me.
“I’ll be twenty-four next week.”
“On the night of the Fire Festival. Isn’t that exciting?” Helen preps several dozen steaks at my side.
The amount of food in this kitchen right now is more food than I’ve eaten all year, I’m almost certain of it.
“You’re just a little younger than Kain,” Myla says quietly.
All this food, the dozens of steaks, the cucumbers, lettuce, cheese, pasta, and bread, it’s mostly for Helen’s family. Sure Kain, Chaos, and Rime have a large appetite all by themselves, but Helen has eleven kids—all boys—and a husband.
And Myla just has Kain.
