Page 28 of Maiming
“Kreedence made it hard to care about him. He was the nicest man anyone had ever met but that wasn’t truly him. It took me years, well into my teens to understand the snap of his personality. It was so abrupt sometimes it gave me whiplash. He took care of me after our parents died. I respected him, appreciated him. But he wasn’t someone anyone could ever really love.”
Except for me. I was the blind idiot who thought she loved an unlovable man.
He wasn’t a man at all though. Not really. He was a personality more than anything. I can’t help but wonder if Kreedence ever let anyone truly see him if not even his brother knew him.
Sin shifts against the mattress until we’re sitting shoulder to shoulder.
All the times we sat like this before, teasing our bodies with skimming touches and quiet smiles, flashes through my mind.
“Do you ever think about it?”
“Think about what?” he whispers, his accent kissing against the letters just right.
My attention drifts to the men in the other room. The three of them sit at the table now. Their laughter comes easily. The way they taunt and tease each other shows their friendship so perfectly. The hum of their amusement circles the house in low rumbling waves.
Chaos looks up at me, his eyes shining, thin lines creasing around his pretty gaze.
I had a simple friendship like that once.
“Do you ever think about our kiss?” My heart clenches involuntarily, and I realize it’s the first time I’ve ever spoken of the dark memory.
The heavy breath that leaves Sinister’s lungs matches my feelings exactly. His fingers tic, his index finger reaching out to skim along my outer thigh so lightly all I feel is a fleeting tingling sensation.
“Yeah, I think about it.” His long finger strokes against the thin material of my skirt once more, and I feel that whispering touch everywhere. “I think about how stupid I was to kiss you then. And sometimes I think about how I should have done it sooner. I think about it so much it’s fucking pathetic.”
He and I are alike in many ways.
My heartbeat is so loud it drowns out everything else other than his quiet words. Slowly I turn, my hair falling around my face as I look over at him. Our eyes meet in this timid, uncertain way.
“It’s one of my favorite memories I hate to think about.” My voice catches and his hand slips into mine in an instant. He holds it tightly, clinging to the feel of my skin against his while we study each other for several passing seconds. “Maybe we should change the memory.”
His dark brows lower over bright crimson eyes. “I don’t follow.”
Before I can think twice about it, I lift my leg, turn my hips, and straddle myself over him. The way his eyes widen is almost enough to encourage me further. But I don’t move. I keep my hands to myself while he keeps his hands hovering above my thighs. His fingers fist into his palms, and I wonder if he’s forcing himself not to make contact with the exposed skin of my thighs again. My skirt bunches around my hips, leaving minimal coverage over my underwear, and I follow his gaze as he notices too.
“You’re the most confusing woman I’ve ever met. What are you doing, Arrie?” A half smile pulls at his lips, but the way his voice rasps gives away his calm and collected façade.
He’s right. I’m tired of being confused. I’m going to be painfully vocal and honest with him from here on out.
“I want a redo.”
“A redo. Of course, makes perfect sense.” He shakes his head back and forth at me, his smile only growing wider with each passing second. “I wish I understood your pretty little mind somedays.”
Trust me you don’t want to look inside my mind. It’s a messy place in there.
“You’re telling me you don’t wish we could have a better memory of our first kiss.”
“Well you see, ‘first kiss’ makes it sound like there were more, when there was only the one, if I remember correctly. It also makes it sound like it’ll be a reoccurring event.”
“You’re avoiding my question.” I relent from touching him, slipping my fingers into his, holding his hands in a simple, playful way that makes me feel more alive.
“You’re avoiding my statements.”
“Fine, tell me your statements and I’ll re-ask my question.”
“Hmm, bossy, bossy.” His thumbs brush back and forth against my knuckles as he watches me with that taunting smile of his. “My statement was about the wording.First kiss. My question is will this planned event be a reoccurring affair or a one-time thing that I’m going to dwell on for the next five years? Is it a leap year sort of celebration? Please tell me more, inslow,descriptivedetail, love.” Suddenly our platonic kiss sounds much dirtier as he emphasizes certain words, assaulting me with sensual thoughts without even trying.
“Well.” I take a breath and start to wonder if I’m over my head here. “I think our friendship withstood me dating your brother while being in love with you, a five-year curse, and you welcoming new men into my life. I think it can withstand the occasional kiss.”
