Page 1 of Sustaining
One
Her Flock
Her eyes are big.They’re the deepest blue, more indigo than anything, and I never really noticed how deep the emotions are within them. They’re just like mine.
And they’re gleaming with a mask of unshed tears while her hands shake against the hand-carved table. The tabletop is crafted into smoothed, meticulous perfection—it’s the very image of who my father is as a person. We sit side by side in the sweet little bakery and my mother never glances away from me, watching every word that falls from my mouth like it’ll explain the feelings shining in her eyes.
“And you just went with that demon?” My father swallows hard, swallowing back the sound of anger and hurt in his voice.
He’s so strong. I used to think he was the strongest man in the entire kingdom.
He doesn’t look like that man anymore.
Both my mother and father are more fragile than they were when I left all those years ago. His inky hair that’s cut close against his scalp is peppered with silver. Those dark amber eyes that always beamed with a smile, always clinging to the laughter of life, they’re faded now. That happiness is gone, and the gaze that’s looking at me now is lined deep with pain as he processes the story I told them of how I’d left with Kreedence and Sinister to strengthen my magic.
I told them I’d left to become the mage I always wanted to be. But really, I’d left because I just wanted to find myself more than anything. Magic or not, I didn’t have a fucking clue who I was. I was young. Young and naive in so many ways.
I know now. I know who I am and what I’m capable of and I never would have found that without the men standing behind me.
My father’s hardened stare lifts to those men, and I see it the moment he zeros in on Sinister. He looks from the demon to the lashing scar that crawls down my right arm.
It’s still numb from the wound the Solstice Queen gave me. Last night, when I woke up in the attic of my mother’s bakery, Kain said Sinister healed me. My fingers tingle with pricking sensation but refuse to move. I hold that hand with my other, placing them both over my lap as I sit before my parents. I feel guilt. It’s a swell of emotion that chokes the breath in my lungs for leaving them behind without explanation. But a little broken part of me also feels angry that they still don’t get it.
I’m twenty-four years old, and the number of people who fully accept me for who I am is five.
And my own parents aren’t included in that math.
I didn’t tell them that he’d hurt me. As much as I love them and want them to understand, I’ll never tell them what really happened between me and Kreedence. It’s just too hard. It’s too hard to look into their disappointed eyes and tell them my life wasn’t what they had hoped it would be for me. How do you tell someone who loves you that you hated yourself?
That weak little girl is gone now.
I don’t tell them. But the way they look at me, I feel like they know.
Once more, my father pins a glare against Sinister. Then he stands with intent, his chair scraping harshly over the wooden floor.
“It wasn’t Sinister. He’s my friend. He took care of me the entire time I’ve been gone. He’s saved me more times than I can count.”
My shoulders pull together when I hold my hands tighter, wishing the first meeting I have with my parents could be different. They hugged me. I walked down from the attic of Bellamix’s Bakery just as the sun was rising and they froze for a moment. The words that rumbled through my father’s wide chest halted in an instant, falling away and forgotten as he stared wide-eyed at me where I stood in the doorway.
Her hands shook when she hugged me hard against her, and they shake now.
“I’m glad you had someone, Arlow.” The soft sound of her words doesn’t reflect the hard glare in my father’s eyes.
I’d met a few demons in the heart of the busy Kingdom of Minden, but they’re scarce in Warf. Mostly because they’re deemed powerful, manipulative, monsters. Which, if I had never met Sinister, if I had only ever met Kreedence, then I would have to agree. But Sinister isn’t like that. He’s sweet and gentle, and why am I letting my thoughts run eagerly to him right now?
“What about the others?” The gruff sound of my father’s voice shows just what he thinks ofthe others.
I turn stiffly in my little wooden chair, feeling very much like a child introducing her first crush to her father. The golden morning sunlight falls in waves over the attractive men lingering near the door. My mother’s small bakery doesn’t give them enough space to really appear like they’re allowing privacy for us. Sinister keeps his crimson gaze on me. Kain’s shoulders are locked, his hands held behind his back as he watches my father’s judgement. It’s a respectful sort of look but it’s also a bit too—dare I say—alpha. Chaos and Rime stand side by side, passing a quiet glance between themselves.
The others.
How do I explain the others?
A lie catches in my throat, ready to tell my father they’re a platonic group of gentlemen who have never once taken me two at a time or fucked me against a dinner table. They’re the sweetest young men, Dad. But before the word-vomit lie can tumble out, the ring on my hand catches the sunlight. The angled cut of the crystal eats up the golden ray and gleams an inky color of pure beauty.
“They’re my mates.” Among all my scattered emotions this morning, a smile tilts my lips.
When I look back up, Chaos gives me a wolfish smile that makes the entire situation feel inappropriate.
