Page 3 of Sustaining
“There is,” I whisper.
“There’s not.” His boots scuff against the cobblestones, and the moment he stops, we all do. “They were wrong. They were going to lock you up and throw away the fucking key for something you didn’t do, Low. I’m not going to go set up a life in a place that doesn’t accept you.”
Surprise. We’re already in that place that doesn’t accept me, Chaos.
But I don’t say that. My homeland is worse. He doesn’t exactly know it yet, but Warf never felt like a home to me. I hid my magic just like my mother demanded, but they always knew. Little screwups over the years; homework bursting into flames when I got my first F, bats flying out of Fayla Waller’s mouth when she called me bitch in the middle of class, those same bats flying out of other places when I found out she’d fucked the boy I liked a few months later. Incidents have always happened to me. And those casual incidents made everyone around me all too leery of the small, shy girl who never said too much but always drew unwanted attention to herself.
His fingers skim down until Chaos clutches my hand in his. My heartbeat kicks up, and I wish I could actually hold his hand back the way I’m holding Sinister’s. Beautiful eyes search mine. Moments pass, and that sweet gaze turns to concern.
“What’s wrong with your hand, Arlow?”
I physically flinch when Chaos says my full name. It’s such a serious sound.
“It’s fine.”
My fingers slip away from Sinister’s, and I pull my numb arm away from Chaos to keep it close to my chest. Dozens of people mill around us, passing and watching us, their attention skimming all over me while I try my best just to keep my secrets within.
All four of them are staring at my scar now. Kain steps closer, his thumb brushing down the long length of the injury the Solstice Queen gave me. Kain’s always so thought out and careful with his touches that it makes me crave him even more. I wish I could feel it. I wish I could feel the sensation of his big hand running slowly down my arm.
Nothing. I feel nothing.
“I thought you healed her, Sinister?” Kain’s deep, mossy eyes lift to the demon at my side.
“The wound was a simple fix. Usually they don’t heal that way, though. Usually the skin is nearly unblemished.” Sinister’s long fingers skim against the back of my hand, running over the jagged line there while Kain sweeps his touch up to my shoulder.
I’d normally love the feel of their hands all over my body, if only it wasn’t such a gut-wrenching fear that something might really be wrong with me. I thought the numbness would subside. Maybe within twenty-four hours the tingling sensation ripping beneath my skin will fade. It’s magic. I can tell it’s magic but I’ve never reacted to anything like this.
“I’m sure it just needs time,” I mumble.
Rime comes closer as well, and now I’m surrounded by four solid chests and eight brooding eyes.
“It’s her magic.” Rime’s voice cuts across his lips in a low, flat tone. Frost-kissed eyes glimmer like the dangerous sea as he raises his attention to meet my eyes. “She sank her power right into you. Infected you with it.”
“How do you know that?” It’s a quiet question, but I know he hears me. How does he know so much?
“Because it’s said, that’s what she did to her husband. And to his guards. And to every person who tried to stop her.” The even words turn manic, his features as lost as always when he looks at me.
“Well, they shouldn’t have tried to imprison her.” The Queen’s words about people who loved her turning on her, and on all mages, circle my mind.
“They didn’t try to imprison her, my Tamer. She was tired of being used. When the young Attikan woman was first crowned Queen of Minden, she handed out magic like it was a currency. Gave King Barren indestructible armor for his men, weapons like the world has never seen. Impenetrable walls line this kingdom even today, all thanks to her magic. And he treated her like she was nothing more than a pretty pet. Years passed, and she grew tired of ruling his kingdom. She grew tired of living a life without love or appreciation. So she tried to take what she thought she deserved. The Attikan Queen tried to take Minden from Barren.”
My lips part, but no words come out. She…tried to take the throne. She tried to overthrow Barren. A voice in the back of my mind is cheering her on, but another voice keeps whisperingtreasondespite not being loud enough to speak over my applauding approval.
“How do you know that, Rime?”
It’s a story I’ve never heard. This kingdom has been washed away of the fading memory of the beloved Solstice Queen. I’ve never heard a bad thing about her really. I certainly haven’t heard about her one-woman rebellion.
“A man who…I knew when I was a boy used to tell me bedtime stories about the Attikan Queen of Minden just after shedisappeared. They say she disappeared or maybe died of natural causes. But the truth is, Barron got rid of her. Just as he did majority of all the mages in existence.”
How? How could a simple mortal man win against a mage like that?
My heart tumbles down a sharp and painful fall at the sound of Rime’s quiet words. I hate the sound of his voice right now. I’d much rather have his cold wrath than that lost, quiet tone he gets when he remembers something from his childhood.
My arm wraps around his waist, pulling him against me, even if my other hand refuses to join in on how much I want to make sure he knows I’m here. That he’s here.
His cold fingers tangle through my dark hair as he holds me to his chest, his heart pounding hard against my cheek. For just a second, I close my eyes to the feel of his body surrounding mine. Everything, every screwed-up thing in my life, is perfect when he holds me.
“Can we heal it?” he asks Sinister, interrupting my short-lived bliss.
