Page 39 of Sustaining
Is he imagining himself in Carlin’s shoes? If Rime or Chaos gave Kain false, important information, he’d follow that information without question. That kind of blind trust is dangerous. But I know he’d never trade it for anything in the world.
“It won’t matter. Tomorrow we’ll be gone.” When I speak, four sets of intense gazes land on me.
“Good,” Kain says at the same time as Sinister starts to speak.
“Where will we go?”
I have no fucking idea.
“She still wants to go to Attika.” Rime’s even tone isn’t condescending or even angered. He’s just stating it like he’s speaking right from the deepest thoughts within my mind.
“I don’t know. We didn’t make it to the island. We never spoke with the mage who knows Ellise.”
“Why didn’t you make it to the island?” Kain cocks his head at me until I’m forced to look up.
“There was an incident.” I shrug just enough to force a heavy exhale out of his lungs.
I’m too tired. I’m just too tired to argue with him right now. Every muscle in my limbs hurt from the events at the island and every other muscle in my body hurts from delicious other reasons that I can’t really complain about.
Note to self: Do not antagonize Sinister’s demon when he’s fucking you.
“We should get some sleep,” Chaos says, his finger’s pushing back my hair while he stares down on my drowsy eyes.
Without waiting for Kain’s response, Chaos pulls me down until I’m tucked close against his chest, my head resting on his big arm. Rime casually takes a spot on Chaos’ other side, while Sinister provides us with the thickest, warmest blankets I’ve ever felt. They smell like him, tinged with cinnamon, heated with a sort of unnatural warmth that I can’t even explain.
And then we all settle in. Except for the alpha staring down on me. His attention skims over the men lying down, lingering on each of their faces before bringing his narrowed eyes back to me.
“Lie down,” I whisper.
He pauses but slowly lowers himself at my side.
It took time. It took more time than I originally expected it to, but I’ve unintentionally gotten these brooding, resilient men to listen to me. I have no idea how that happened.
Quiet breaths fan against the back of my neck, and I know Chaos is already asleep in a matter of minutes. It’s like not one single anxious thought flits through his mind to interrupt his deep, quiet sleep.
“They love you unconditionally. Without question,” Kain whispers as his hand slowly pushes across my hip. His big body, solid muscle, and gentle touch is all around me. I missed him and I can’t help but reach out and let my fingers trail up and down the hard lines of his chest.
Energy restarts within my body, coming to life just from the closeness of the man in front of me. I missed him so much.
“That’s a dangerous love.” I say it more to myself than anything. Because I can feel it. It feels dangerous and thrumming in my chest when I think about how much I care about these men.
The difference between my old life and now, is now I feel safe. It’s love built of spiking adrenaline but complete and total protectiveness. I’ll never be as cared for as I am right here, right now.
“It’s only dangerous if the ones loving you aren’t worth loving.” The weight of his body is more firmly against me, his chest melding to mine, his hips rocking until they’re perfectly against mine.
A smile tilts my lips, and he kisses that easy smile so slowly I ache deep, deep down.
How does he always know what to say? How are his words always so well thought out?
The feel of his tongue along mine becomes deeper, and it’s so consuming I don’t even think about it when I turn, push him down, and straddle myself over him. The feel of him beneath me, at my mercy, is different. It’s empowering. Sexy and completely emboldening.
Especially since I’ve seen his fantasies. In those fantasies, we’re just like this. My thighs locked against his lean hips, his body mine to be used however I like.
It’s like all that control he holds over himself and everyone else is relented to me in this moment.
He sits up, teasing my mouth with the faint feel of his lips. His big hands are gentle against my skin as he takes his time trailing ever so slowly down the sides of my stomach. It’s the lightest touch that burns over me until I’m moaning against his lips. His hands stop low on the curve of my ass and thighs. They stop completely.
It’s such a shift from our building desire that I pull back from him. The heavy exhales between us are the only noise while we study each other for several seconds.
