Page 7 of A Crown of Madness
But there’s a darkness just below the surface. I’ve seen it. I’ve felt it.
I want it.
He lets that terrible confession linger between us. With the touch of a ghost, his hands trail over my bruises. His lips part, but he says nothing. A pity-filled gaze travels across my features.
I know what he sees.
An angry woman, clinging to the physical strength she has to make up for her mental instability. I hate that I’m like this. I hate that I doubt my reality.
Nollix isn’t real.
To satisfy my own nagging need, my fingers skim along his corded arms, rubbing back and forth against the veins of his forearms.
He isn’t real, but his presence that my mental breakdown is gifting me is nice.
It’d be nice to have someone to talk to. This room is so lonely.
He isn’t real, but for a moment, I can pretend, if only to distract myself.
“I never told you how attractive I thought you were.” My throat is raw as I recall how often I watched him, quietly appraising him but never speaking to him. “Goddess, even your veins are sexy. How is that possible? Veins aren’t sexy.”
A dry, barking laugh rumbles through him. It’s a delicious sound that fills my chest with an odd feeling. His lips quiver, fighting between a smile and a frown.
“You think my veins are sexy?” His fingers trail up my arm, skimming across my flesh with that tingling energy of his. “Believe me when I tell you, you haven’t even seen the best part yet, Vi.”
Arrogant asshole.
His smooth words are enough for my mouth to shape into a small grin. Warmth floods my chest at his clever words. Words always flow smoothly from him in the most perfect ways as if thoughts aren’t needed, only confidence.
“I hate how much your arrogance pushes me.”How it forces me to feel.“I hate how much I still think about when you touched me. I... loved the way you kissed me.” I continue my slow stroking across his strong forearm, keeping my attention fixed there as I confess everything I wish I’d said to him.
“Mmm... I think we’re getting distracted here.”
“Did you like it?” My head tilts against the soft pillow when I look up at him.
His brows raise, his mouth open as a hesitant smile creeps across his features.
“Wow, this is not how I thought this conversation was going to go.”
“Did you hate it?” My voice sounds empty and dejected, but it isn’t because of him. It’s because of me.
“What? No.” His palm trails lower until it settles against my hip, his thumb brushing against the exposed skin of my side. “No, I didn’t hate it. Fuck, what kind of question is that? I—I loved kissing yo—”
“I wish you were really here.” The energy sweeping through my core is the most I’ve felt in weeks. My thighs shift just thinking about it. My eyes close while my throat grows tight as I trample down the emotion.
Don’t let your father win, I tell myself.
“Vi, where’shere? Tell me where you are, and I’ll come get you.” There’s an urgency in his voice that wasn’t there before.
This must be a trick. A way for my father to find out what I know.
Or is it just my pathetic mind trying to ease some of my loneliness? Have I gone delusional? Is it a side effect of the injection my father gave me?
I grunt in pain but manage to turn away from him. The blankets shift beneath my body as I roll until my back is to him. The dark panels of the wall hold my focus.
A heaviness clings to my limbs. My eyes could close at any moment. Sleep... I could give in to sleep. Maybe that would make this apparition go away.
“You’re not going to let me come save you, are you?” His palm pushes up and down my arm.
