Page 64 of The Woodsmoke Women's Book of Spells
Tom blanches. “All right, point taken.”
She stifles a scream, stalks back inside, and sits on the sofa. For a moment, the nausea wanes, leaving her temporarily suspended in the hope that it won’t return. But then it comes shuddering back, slamming into her middle, the back of her throat, like a fist. She groans, placing her hands on her stomach. “It’s like I’m in a car—or on a boat, and it’s moving too fast, and my body can never keep up.”
Tom sinks down next to her, rubbing a hand up and down her arm. “It’s shit, I know.”
“You don’t know.”
“You’re right, I really don’t.” He cracks a smile, and Jess catchesit. Then her mouth lifts too, and suddenly she can’t help herself. They’re both laughing, hysteria clutching their sides.
“We shouldn’t be laughing,” Jess says, sniffing. “Why the hell are we laughing? Think of something serious!”
“I can’t,” Tom says, pressing his hands into his face. “I can’t believe any of this is happening. I mean... whathappenedthis winter?”
“I know,” Jess says, then looks over at him. A squeak escapes her, and she’s laughing again, so much so that bile rises up her throat.
After a few minutes, their laughter subsides into silence. The nerves, the adrenaline, have left them cold. Tom wraps his hand around hers and looks over at her. “I’m so sorry, Jess. You cannot believe how sorry I am for leaving last night, for being so cross I couldn’t see how it would look, what you would think...”
“It’s all right,” Jess says, closing her eyes. “It’s all right.”
They sit for a moment in the silence, thicker than fog in the cabin.
“I think it’s a girl again,” she says. “I feel as sick as a dog, just like last time.”
“When will we...”
“Twenty-week scan.” She sighs. “Not long. If we want to know, that is. We could keep it a surprise.”
“Been a lot of surprises recently, don’t you think?” Tom says bleakly. “For once, I’d like a heads-up on something.”
“When—when you went to her the other night—”
“You thought I was leaving you. For Carrie.”
“Well, possibly.”
“Jess,” Tom says, turning to her. “I’m a fool. You’re the love of my life. Always have been, always will be. That I ever made you doubt that, that Carrie coming back ever made you question...I’ve been distant since she got back, I know. I’ve just been in my own head, and I should have looked up,noticedmore.
“What you did when we were kids, before the wedding? Going to Cora and all of that? I forgive you. I was angry, but my anger was misdirected. It was really about Cora. She’s always meddling, always involved, and I guess I just snapped last night and took it out on you.” He stops himself, shaking his head. “I would have loved you anyway, I’m sure of it. I would have found my way to you, like it was always supposed to be. Carrie and I wouldn’t have lasted, and it would have done more damage if we’d gotten married. I have a lot to make up for. Starting now. Right this minute.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Tom leans over, kisses her cheek. He lowers his face to her shoulder, breathing in her scent, all vanilla and mint and fresh linen. She’s always smelled like this to him, even when they were young. “Tell me what I should do to make it up to you.”
“Find Carrie. Find her and help me mend it between us. That’s what I want. That’s all I’ve wanted since she left. It’s like there’s been this hole. I love you, and Elodie, and the life we have, but I can’t fill that space with anyone else. Only she can fill it.”
“All right.”
“I’m afraid,” she says suddenly. “More than anything, I’m afraid it’s too late. That I left it too late and got too caught up in thinking I hated her, when really it was only my guilt and fear I hated.”
“They’ll find her.”
Jess sniffs as her entire being fills with tears, and she curves herself into Tom’s side. “You forgive me, then? For everything? Truly?”
“Of course.”
“But... you believe it all, don’t you? The Morgans, the book, the old stories...”
Tom is quiet for a minute as he still holds her. He’s been trying to work this out for years, to unravel the threads that bind them all, trying to unpick the real from the imagined. It’s true that the stories can’t be ignored in Woodsmoke, that trying to explain them to anyone from outside of town would be futile. But Jess and Tom and Carrie have all grown up with it. They’ve seen the seemingly magical effects, the unexplained things that happen. As much as he’d like to brush it all aside as superstition, he simply can’t.
