Page 84 of The Ordeals
I learn there are three movements in the final Ordeal from Ezra’s journal. Three steps of Initiation, designed to test every hopeful to the point of breaking.
And yet …
I hug my knees to my chest, reminding myself who I am.WhatI am. In this, the longest hours of night I have ever endured, I have had to face up to what lies within me, what I have to draw on in this final Ordeal. A powerful magic … no. I will not have this to draw on. But my strength, my inner self … that was not always within me. That was made.
That wasforged.
Nothing is given unless you take it, my girl.
Dolly. Before every assignment, Dolly taught me strength. She taught me to love myself, she taught me how to conquer my fears, to gaze into the heart of them and face them anyway. And the Collector … Ezra Darley. He taught me cunning, taught me focus, ensured I was stronger thansteel.He was brutal, the vault, the threats, the endless training … but I survived. More than survived, I grew stronger. I am not without hope. This final Ordeal, this final test … it’s an assignment. And the rules are still the same.
Get in, get out.
Don’t get caught.
My magic may not be my strength. But my will … my will is strong. Iwantto be here. I want to fight for my place here at Killmarth, to learn, to grow and, in time, to nurture my magic. If I don’t have the raw power of Alden and Knox, then I will forge a new path for myself, a new way to conquer this final Ordeal.
I get up off the floor and take a breath. Crossing to the mirror above the fireplace, I remind myself of who I am. What I have achieved. How I have faced down literal monsters, how I have succeeded at every single thing this world has thrown at me and in the face of fear, of failure, I’ve said,fuck, no.
I focus on my reflection. The lines of my face, the iron in my eyes. And I smile. ‘Sophia DeWinter, you have survived more than this. You will go through the final Ordeal tomorrow, and youwillsucceed.’
For Dolly, for my parents, for myself … I will do this. I will not quit now, at the final hurdle. It may be impassable. It may seem impossible. Everything may be stacked against me … but when has it not been?
I take a deep, steadying breath and press a finger against themirror, picturing her face, imagining her standing behind me, hands on my shoulders, smiling back at our reflections. She would not want me to give up now. Dolly Love did not raise a failure.
And besides, if I get through this final Ordeal, I have a score to settle with Ezra Darley. He owes me answers about my parents, about the Darley family business … everything.
‘See you on the other side, Dolly,’ I whisper. ‘Whatever that side may be.’
Chapter 29
Warm Blood
On the first day of true winter cold, we gather for the final Ordeal. Snow shivers from the sky in silent spirals, drifting over the courtyard, painting the world in bleak shades of white and grey in the early dawn light. The stark colours set a sombre tone, none of us speaking, none of us so much as looking at each other. Two mirrors are set up in the centre, as with the first Ordeal. Two mirrors that will lead us to triumph … or to death.
‘The mirrors will send you to the final Ordeal, which is in three movements. In the past, we have partnered you up, but this year …’ Professor Grant sweeps her gaze over us. ‘You are alone. There are twenty places, and there are now twenty-eight of you. Not all of you will survive this Ordeal so I give you leave now, to go.’
A breeze ruffles my hair, the wind whistling over stone like the sigh of a trapped ghost. Not a single hopeful takes up her offer. We all want to be here today. Weallwant one of those twenty places. I don’t look at Alden, but I sense his eyes burning into me, like a fiery kiss, like the echo of a final farewell. He must realise now that he cannot protect me. I did the right thing by leaving him last night.
‘So be it,’ she says. ‘The three parts of the final Ordeal will test your strength: mental, emotional and physical. We cannot have weak scholars. Killmarth trains only the very best and only the best of you will succeed. It will also test your magic. Raw power,untrainedpower is acceptable. Valued, in fact. We want malleable scholars who will learn and grow to become the guardians of our territory, to lead each field they go into. To become the elite. For what lies ahead for us all.’ Her eyes narrow and I catch Caroline Ivey’s assessing gaze darting over us, hands folded in front of her pristine royal blue wool coat. ‘Bona fortuna, hopefuls. May you make it to the arena.’
The arena?
I glance at Tessa and she shrugs, a frown pinching her features. She hasn’t heard of this part of the final Ordeal either. Greg’s features fold inwards, uncharacteristically glum, as though he is contemplating his survival, and most likely Tessa’s.
Professor Grant moves to the side, with Professor Hess, Professor Lewellyn, Caroline Ivey and Professor Silver flanking her. We begin shuffling through the mirrors, one by one. I am wearing tight-fitting trousers I can move in, boots, a long-sleeve top and a thin jumper. It’s cold out here, but I can’t be weighed down by bulk if I need to move quickly.
My fingertips brush the switchblade in my right pocket, the cold metal giving me a moment of comfort. The wooden stake I’ve left exposed in a holder on my thigh. It seems pointless to hide it, and although the professors eyes flick to it, no one says a word. I won’t back out now.
I step through the mirror and find myself on a cobbled street, standing in the exact same spot as ten weeks ago. And we’re all here. In front of Alabaster House. It’s morning, not the cool, velvet dark of midnight this time and just slightly warmer than the chill tidal island of Killmarth. The gated garden the crescent of townhouses wraps around is at my back, but now instead of the heady scent of roses, all I smell is leaf mould and decay. Winter has leached the life out of this part of the city as well, lending it an air of depleted slumber.
Alabaster House. Bone-white, a luminous beacon, even in the scant daylight. I wrap my arms around myself, the cold of Killmarth still clinging to my bones. If the final Ordeal is in there, will it be similar to the Crucible? Will I be fighting through poisoned fumes, or slashing at venomous vines?
‘Fond memories of this place. Very fond,’ Tessa says, deadpan. ‘Loved everything about the Crucible.’
I grin and pat her shoulder. ‘Well at least if we don’t make it, we won’t have to survive January at Killmarth. Death by magical cut-throat entrance exam, or freezing our arses off on a tiny tidal island …’
‘Pick your poison I guess.’ Tessa chuckles, smiling at me. ‘Although I was looking forward to being allowed out at the weekends. I’ve heard there’s a café, the Copper Spoon in Marazia, that’s meant to be quite nice. There’s even a pub where you can get a decent pint of rhyn.’
