Page 108 of Once Upon a Holidate
“It’s not the clothes.” She smiled at him. “Relax. This isn’t about you. It’s about me and the choices I made. How I cut myself off from a part of who I am because I felt I had to be punished.”
“Because of what you did with Chas?”
She nodded. “I was wrong. If he was still around, I would tell him that. I made a mistake, but I learned from it. Things are different now—I’mdifferent.”
She folded the pajamas. “I like kids. I like being a mom. I always wanted more than just one child. Hunter’s nearly grown. In a few years, he’ll be heading off to college and then what? I’ve lived with regrets for too long. I don’t want to do that anymore. I want kids.”
She also wanted Garrick in her life, but thought going there now was probably a little too much information for him to take in. She had no idea how he felt about her. Oh, she knew he liked her and wanted to have sex with her, but what about beyond that? What about the next step?
That was where everything got fuzzy. They hadn’t been together long enough to have that kind of conversation. Should they reach that point, she wanted him to know her plans for the future. She wanted more children, and if he didn’t, well, she wasn’t sure how that would work out.
“Like how many?” he asked, still looked shell-shocked.
“Two.”
He relaxed. “That’s manageable.”
“I’m a realist.” She walked around the chair, placed her hands on his chest and stared into his eyes. “I’m not asking you for anything, Garrick. Please believe me. I wasn’t hinting.” She might have been wishing, but he didn’t have to know that. “I like what we have.”
She felt him relax.
“I like it, too.”
“Good.” She raised herself on tiptoe and kissed him. “Now let’s wrap some presents.”
***
Thursday after work Garrick drove up the mountain to watch football with his friends. As he navigated the route, he tried to settle his mind, but there was too much going on. Holly’s wedding was Saturday, Chandler was due back right after that, then Joylyn would be heading back to Phoenix to await the birth of her baby.
Garrick still wasn’t sure what he was going to do. He had some time off around the holidays. He supposed he would get a hotel room in Phoenix and spend Christmas there so he could be with Joylyn. It was the plan that made the most sense—only he didn’t want to be that far away from Wynn and Hunter.
Adding to the confusion was the fact that he couldn’t forget what she’d told him last night when they’d been wrapping presents.
She wanted to have more kids.
The statement had thrown him. He believed her when she said she wasn’t hinting at anything. Wynn was straightforward and open. She didn’t play games. Still, the statement had been unexpected, and he’d been unable to let it go.
Did she want kids with him? He believed she hadn’t been hinting, but still, they were a thing and he liked what they had together. And if so, how did he feel about that?
While he wasn’t opposed to marriage, he’d always assumed he wouldn’t do it again. His relationship with Sandy had been a disaster, for the two of them and for him and Joylyn. He didn’t want to take any more risks like that. But kids were different. He liked kids. But how to have one without the other?
He parked in front of Jasper’s house and walked to the frontdoor. Seconds after he knocked he heard Koda barking. Jasper let him in.
Garrick handed him the six-pack of beer he’d brought, then dropped to a knee to greet the old dog who circled him, tail wagging.
“Hey, you,” he said, rubbing Koda’s ears. “How you doing, big guy?”
Koda woofed his answer, before swiping Garrick’s face with a quick lick. Garrick stood and greeted his friend.
“You don’t have to rub my ears,” Jasper said dryly, leading the way to the family room where a large Christmas tree, decorated in red and silver ornaments, dominated the space.
“Good, because I was going to say you don’t have to lick my face.”
Cade sat on the sofa. He looked at them both. “Do I want to know what you’re talking about?”
Garrick laughed. “Nope.”
Cade grinned. “Now I’m worried.”
