Page 44 of Camilla & Dallas
Swallowing thickly, she glanced down at their clasped hands. He wasn’t wrong. They’d said they weren’t going to keep anything from each other, and she needed to give him the same courtesy she expected from him. Blowing out a heavy breath, she lifted a shoulder. “I was thinking about when you left.”
That frown deepened. She could tell she’d struck a nerve or maybe brought a storm cloud to hover over their relationship. “Camilla.” In that one word was all the apology and guilt he’d demonstrated when they’d first come in contact after being separated for so long.
Camilla blinked, looking up at the sky. “I know I said I didn’t care, but I guess it still bothers me.” It didn’t matter that she was fighting the emotion; those darn tears were threatening to overflow any second now.
Dallas squeezed her hands. “I did it for you.”
She snapped her head back to stare at him. “What?”
He gave her one of the most heart-wrenching smiles she’d ever seen. “I wanted to be someone worthy of you.”
Tears catapulted from her lashes and dragged down her cheeks. “But?—”
Dallas brushed away the tears with his thumbs after releasing her hands. He cupped her face in his hands and shook his head, cutting off what she might have wanted to say. “Back then… we were kids. We had so many things we still had to figure out. And I knew… I knew I wanted to be the kind of man you deserved. So, I did what I had to. I found a career that would allow me to provide for you. But then…” His voice cracked and he shut his eyes. “I wish I would have called.”
“Me, too,” Camilla whispered. She wanted to yell at him that he’d been an idiot for thinking he wasn’t good enough. Or for believing that leaving would inevitably mean the end of what they had. But based on the emotion she saw in his eyes, she already knew he had beaten himself up over this issue enough.
He opened his eyes and that familiar furrow creased deep. He opened his mouth, then closed it before shaking his head. Briefly considering asking him to tell her what he’d been about to say, Camilla thought better of it. They’d both made mistakes. They both wished they could change the past.
And they both knew that couldn’t happen.
Moving forward. That’s what they needed to focus on.
“Want to go on a hike with me?” he asked.
When she got a good look at Dallas, all she saw was the nervous young man he’d been the night of their first kiss. The anxiety he’d had right before he’d confessed his love for her. If she had any question of where he stood before, she didn’t now.
They loved each other. And as long as she could continue to trust him to talk with her whenever something came up, then they’d make it through.
Camilla nodded. “Let me put these little rascals back with their mother.” It was brief, but she caught a glimpse of a strange expression on Dallas’s face.
He must have caught her curiosity because, without prompting, he said, “You’d make a wonderful mother, Camilla.”
Her smile broadened. “Thank you.”
“How many?”
“What?” She laughed.
“How many do you want?” He didn’t have to clarify that he was referring to children, and a heat expanded in her chest at the thought of starting a family with him.
“Four,” she said without hesitation.
His brows shot up. They hadn’t discussed kids when they’d been together years ago. Was he surprised that she wanted so many? These days people usually stopped with one or two children. Larger families weren’t as popular.
“What?” She laughed. “Don’t tell me you’re wanting to have only one.”
He shook his head. “Actually, when I think of my future family, I see myself with four.”
She laughed. “You’re joking.”
Shaking his head, he pulled her into him. “Not even close.” Dallas cocked his head. “What about living arrangements?”
“Living arrangements?” She couldn’t deny she was enjoying this little game of twenty questions.
“Would you be up for traveling? Seeing the world with your family in tow? Or…” He let the question dangle, and she thought about it contemplatively.
Her nose scrunched. What he suggested sounded fun, but not for the long term. She shook her head. “I prefer roots. I like coming home too much. I like stability and knowing where I belong.”
