Page 46 of A Case of Possession
“Sister,” Town said. “Or perhaps not, maybe she was too young. His cousin, his niece, I don’t know. She was his only family, that I can tell you. He had nobody else. Just the two of them. She came out to Shanghai to be with him as well as serve her God. And when she vanished, well, it ate away at him, especially with all the people saying she’d run away with a man. He never believed that. He had to stop looking eventually, he kept up the social façade, as it were, but he never forgot her. And I don’t suppose he would forgive her killer. No. Never forgive.”
Crane nodded. “Thank you, Town. Can I charge you, strongly, to keep this conversation to yourself? I will give you the full story in time, but for now, this is not a topic to raise, and particularly not with Peyton. Will he be at the Traders, do you think?”
“He lodges in Hammersmith. King Street, I believe. You should look there first. He’s never at the club for luncheon. I hope you don’t plan to revive painful memories, Vaudrey, I think he’s suffered enough.”
“I plan nothing,” Crane said. “I just want a word with him. See you later.”
“Farewell, dear chap. Nice to see you again, Mr. Day.”
Chapter Fourteen
They walked together out of the house into the baking sunshine as the clocks struck noon.
“Hammersmith, then?” Stephen said.
“Let’s drop in at the Traders first. It’s on the way, and we can get his direction without having to guess the house number. Well. Peyton. The little shit.”
“It sounds like he has reason. Mr. Cryer clearly liked Miss Peyton very much. Did you know her?”
“I didn’t mix with the mission people. For obvious reasons. Can you do the silent thing as we walk? So we can talk?”
Stephen hesitated, then gave a twitch of his fingers and the noise of the road dropped away sharply. He was still wearing the Magpie Lord’s ring, Crane noted, and felt a pulse of hope.
He took a deep breath. “Listen. I feel—it’s a day for painful truths—I need to say something.”
“What?” Stephen’s voice was wary.
Crane’s throat felt uncomfortably dry, and for once, the words didn’t come. He had no idea, now, precisely what to say or how, no rehearsed phrases; he simply knew what had to be said.
The hell with it, Vaudrey. Talk.
“Look. I am quite sure I’ve told you how remarkable you are. I know I have. Magical, and infinitely fuckable, and extraordinarily brave. I’m also well aware that you’re a better man than I will ever be. I’m fairly sure you have no idea just how glorious you are, which is fortunate for me, because the more time I have with you, the more aware I am of my own very obvious flaws. And I realise you don’t entirely trust me—no, let me say this,” he insisted as Stephen tried to interrupt. “I realise that and I don’t blame you, but I want—I would like—you to give me a chance to demonstrate that you can. I’m not going back to Shanghai while you will have me here. In fact, I’m not leaving this damned country at all unless you’re on the boat with me. I seem to be peculiarly inept at understanding your needs when we’re not in bed, and I know I’ve got a hell of a lot wrong to date, but…don’t run away from me, please. Don’t disappear.”
He looked up at the clear, cloudless sky to avoid Stephen’s face. “I recall when Tom first met Leo. Notfirst, but she had gone almost overnight from a gawky schoolgirl to a beauty, and we went to a party at her father’s compound. She was quite wonderful, and afterwards Tom was silent for what felt like hours, and then he said to me, ‘My life changed tonight.’ Well, he had more sense than me, or saw things more clearly. My life changed four months ago, and I utterly failed to understand that until just recently, and therefore…I may have omitted to tell you that I love you.” He took a breath. “That’s all.”
They walked through the crowded streets, side by side, Crane limiting his stride to Stephen’s, in silence for a few seconds. When Stephen spoke, his voice was strangled. “Is there a reason you did that in public, when I can’t even touch you, let alone—let alone say anything properly?”
“Well, yes. I already know what your cock thinks. I’d like to hear from your head as well. Or your heart.”
Stephen kept walking, head down, hands in pockets. Crane could feel his tension, pacing by his side. “Oh God,” he said at last. “I’m pathetic. You know perfectly well that I’m all yours, Lucien, or you should. I’ve got your tattoo, for heaven’s sake. I’m marked for life. And I’m scared by that, I’m terrified. I have no idea why you think I’m brave, I’m an abject coward. I’m too frightened to believe this, you and I, can last because if it doesn’t, I don’t think I can bear it, so it would be easier not to start, but it’s too late now.” He swallowed. “And it’s not that I don’t trust you. I just…struggle to believe that someone like you could really want someone like me. No, it’s my turn, let me finish. You’re an extremely attractive and eligible man, and I’m not. And I seem to do nothing but take from you—”
“No, I can’t let that pass, that is objectively horseshit. For heaven’s sake, man, I can barely give you the time of day without a fight. Merrick says you’re held together by spit and pride.”
“Thank him for me.” Stephen pushed a hand through his hair. “In any case, that’s not the point. I’m not sure what the point was. Oh, hellfire. I love you, Lucien. It wouldn’t be so nerve-wracking if I didn’t.”
Crane took two more paces, feeling the illuminating joy spread through him, and had to control his voice as he observed, “No, you’re right, it was a terrible idea to do this in public. I don’t suppose you could make us invisible?”
“You must be joking,” Stephen said. “Look up.”
Crane looked and groaned aloud as he registered the magpies. They were clustered on gas lamps and roof edges and railings, circling in the skies looking for roosts, a few of them landing in front of him on the pavement, staring with bright, beady eyes. “Oh for— Can’t you make them go away?”
“Don’t blame me, I didn’t call them.” Stephen was grinning up at him with that familiar snag-toothed tweak in his top lip, and a light in his golden eyes that made Crane’s heart lurch. “And I suspect that anything I attempt to do will light up the street like a bonfire and summon practitioners from miles around. I’m feeling somewhat explosive right now.”
“You and me both. I would very much like to get my hands on you.”
“I want to get my mouth on you,” said Stephen, astonishingly forward considering they weren’t in bed, and now it wasn’t only Crane’s heart that was thumping. “When this is over, could we go away? Your shooting place again?”
“As soon as you like. How long can you take?”
