Page 153 of Game Changer
“Listen,” Todd said, his voice a little softer. “You’ve gotta be careful, all right? If you’re spotted... You know. With a man...”
“Iamcareful. Of course I’m careful! If I wasn’t careful do you think I would have been able to keep this a secret for so long? From my teammates? From the media? Fromyou?”
“I suppose not.”
“I’m tired of being careful,” Scott sighed.
Neither man said anything for a moment, then Todd said, “How would you even do it? Make the announcement, I mean? Did you have a plan?”
“I don’t know. I was thinking about seeing ifSports Illustratedwanted the story. Maybe doing it that way?”
“They will definitely want the story. I’ll bet we could get a high bid for this thing, but we’d have to be smart about how we shop it.”
“No,” Scott said. “I’m not looking for money for this. That’s not why I’m doing it.”
“Yeah, but you may as well—”
“Todd. Stop.” He smiled. “But I like that you’re considering a strategy now.”
“I still don’t think you should do it.”
“Noted.”
“Fuck. You’re gonna do it anyway, aren’t you?”
“Probably.”
“Jesus Christ. I’d better re-up on my antacid pills. Just...don’t do anything without telling me, all right? Preferably, don’t do anything at all. Ever.”
“Stay in the closet forever. Got it.”
“What’s wrong with the closet? It’s a wonderful place crammed full of professional athletes.”
“Goodnight, Todd.”
* * *
When Scott woke the next morning, he stayed in bed longer than usual, replaying his conversation with his agent. The part of what Todd had said that he couldn’t get out of his head was:
You think you’re the only gay guy in the NHL?
No. Scott wassurethat he wasn’t. But he felt like he was. All the time. It was a lonely, horrible feeling. And those other secretly gay players must be feeling it too.
Maybe he could change all that. Maybe he could make it easier for them, as well as for himself.
He frowned. Could he really change anything? Just by coming clean with the world about who he was? Would it have an impact? Or would Todd be right? Would the sponsors walk away? Would his teammates distance themselves? Would the fans turn their backs? Would his game suffer?
And then what would happen to those other gay players? It certainly wouldn’t make them feelbetter.
Fuck.
“What’s eating you, Scotty?” Carter asked over a hotel buffet plate of scrambled eggs and toast.
“Oh,” Scott said, snapping back to attention. “Nothing.”
“You’re a shitty liar, Hunter. I keep telling you.”
Scott smiled and poked at his eggs. “Has it been easier for you since your relationship was...outed?”
