Page 147 of Game Changer
Scott shook his head and continued, “And the thing is... Not to sound dramatic, but for my entire adult life, my teammates have been the only family I’ve had. So the thought of losing their respect and support is terrifying.”
And now Kip really felt like shit for pushing him. But he still wanted Scott to take the leap.
“That all probably sounds like a weak reason to not come out,” Scott said. “I’m not expecting to get beat up in the locker room or anything. It’s just—It’s a big fucking line for me to cross. And there’s no going back.”
“No,” Kip agreed. “There’s no going back. But, let me tell you, there are some pretty amazing things on the other side of that line.”
Scott smiled. “I know. I want to see them. I want to have them all. With you.”
“Me too. And whatever happens, Scott. You know I’ll be right there beside you, right? I can take it. Whatever you are afraid of, we’ll fight it together. I am soproudto be your boyfriend. If you think the world finding out how much I love you is scary to me, you’re dead wrong.”
Scott’s face crumpled a bit. His eyes were wet. “I love you. Kip, I don’t know what I’m doing, but I just love you so much and I can’t lose you. I just...can’t.”
Kip’s heart felt like a big, warm puddle. “I love you too, Scott.”
“Can you wait until the playoffs are over? Is that too much to ask?” His tone was sincere, not angry.
“I can wait,” Kip said. “But when the playoffs are over, we need to figure out what happens next.”
Scott nodded. “That’s fair. Yeah. All right.”
“Okay.”
“And can you promise to stop thinking that I’m going to think you’re not worth it? Or whatever? Because that is so far from the truth, I can’t even tell you.”
Kip gave a relieved, wet smile. “Deal.”
Scott closed his eyes and pressed his face against Kip’s palm. He took Kip’s other hand in his, and Kip curled their fingers together, squeezing reassuringly.
“What happened to your hands, anyway?” Kip asked. He lifted one of them to his lips and gently kissed Scott’s bruised knuckles.
“You didn’t watch that game?” Scott sounded a little hurt by that.
“No. I tried to watch the first one, but it... I just couldn’t. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It was only a fight. It was stupid.”
“A fight? You don’t fight. I’ve never seen you fight.”
“I don’t, usually. Not for a long time. And I shouldn’t have the other night, but...”
“What happened?” Kip asked, tracing his fingertips over the bandages.
“He called me a faggot. Which,” Scott said quickly, “is really not that big a deal. Like I said, words like that are so common on the ice that they don’t even mean anything.”
“Until they do,” Kip said quietly.
“Until they do.”
Kip cradled Scott’s big hands in his own.
“I wanted to tell him,” Scott said. “I wanted him to knowexactlywho it was that was beating his face in.”
Kip looked at him, surprised. “Well, that’s one way to come out. Not sure it’s what I’d recommend.”
Scott laughed. “I shouldn’t have done it. Fought him, I mean. I wish I hadn’t. But I was... You know.”
“Miserable?”
