Page 25 of Common Goal
“Yeah. I’m on his dick right now, actually. So I should probably go.”
“That’s awkward,” Kip agreed. “Especially since we were just talking about your next date.”
Kyle snorted, then pretended to whisper to his nonexistent sex partner, “Sorry if I was being rude earlier.” Then he pitched his voice comically low and said, “I didn’t even notice you were on the phone, baby, because you’re so good at riding me.”
Kip howled. “Why is his voice so much deeper than yours?”
Kyle cracked up too, then pulled himself together enough to say, in the same deep voice, “Because I’m a fucking beast.”
“He sounds likeGroot!” After that, neither of them could speak for a full minute. In the middle of that minute, Maria returned home.
“Jesus, what’s so funny?” she asked.
“Is that Maria?” Kip asked, still laughing. “Holy shit, has she been in your bedroom this whole time?”
“Hey, I put on a great show.”
“I’ll bet you do.” Kip was joking, but his words made Kyle’s dick twitch. “Give the phone to Maria. I want to talk to her.”
“No. You’re just going to tell her to convince me to go to the party.”
“Eric’s party?” Maria asked as she pulled her boots off. “You’re totally going.”
“Tell her about your date,” Kip said.
“No.”
“Come on. I want to hear you tell Maria to her face that you have an actual for real date on Thursday night.”
“Bye, Kip.”
Kip was still laughing when Kyle ended the call. He turned to Maria, who was holding up her phone.
“Text from Kip,” she said. “He says to ask you why you can’t go to the party.”
Kyle gave an exaggerated sigh. “I told him I have a date. Idon’t,” he clarified before Maria could start asking questions. “I just sort of blurted it out. I was probably trying to make him jealous, which is so sad I’m going to eat a whole bag of frozen perogies right now.” He headed for the kitchen, and Maria followed him.
“First of all,” she said, “you’re only going to eat half of those perogies because I’m starving. Secondly, why don’t you want to go to the party?”
“I don’t know. Because I don’t want to watch Kip make heart eyes at his fiancé. And I don’t want to be around Eric.”
“Why not? Wait. Is he actively trying to cheat on his wife with you? What a fucking scumbag. I’ll fucking—”
“He’s not. Married, I mean. Or actively trying to do anything with me. But... I know myself, and if I have a few drinks and he says anything even slightly flirtatious to me I will do something regrettable.”
“Oh come on. You’re not that easy.”
“With men like that? Oh yes I am.”
“What’s so bad about liking older men? I know you had a bad experience.”
“Or three.”
“Yeah, but you know the one I mean. That guy in Vermont was a fucking trash bag. It doesn’t mean it’s wrong to be attracted to older men. I like tall men, and I’ve been with four of them who fucking sucked. Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna keep trying to find that perfect, tall, probably Finnish prince who may or may not play for the New York Admirals.”
Kyle smiled at that. “Ianwasa trash bag, but I made my own choices. And those choices are always bad when it comes to a certain type of man.”
Maria gave him a hard look. “Kyle. You were eighteen. Cut yourself some slack.”
