Page 50 of Common Goal
“I’m a terrible influence.”
“Maybe I need one.”
Thathung in the air for a charged moment. Then Eric stood and grabbed his coat, throwing it on as he turned toward the door. He certainly seemed to be in a hurry.
Kyle surreptitiously adjusted himself under the table, then grabbed his much-too-short jacket and slid it on as he followed Eric out of the bar.
“I’ll walk you home,” Eric said when they were both on the sidewalk.
He didn’t have to, but Kyle wasn’t going to turn him down. They walked half a block and Eric said, “Thank you, for tonight.”
“Do you think it helped?”
“I do. I know it didn’t seem like much, but this was all new for me. I think it’s a little less scary now. So thanks.”
“I’m glad.”
They walked another minute in silence, then Eric huffed out a laugh.
“What?” Kyle asked.
“Nothing. I mean, nothing funny. Is it awful if I admit that a big part of me wants to stick to dating women because at least I have some familiarity with what to do there?”
“It’s not awful. That actually makes a lot of sense. But sex with a man isn’t that different.”
Eric scoffed, and Kyle admitted, “Okay. Itisdifferent. I assume. I’ve only been with men. But it doesn’t have to be scary.”
Eric seemed to consider this. “I want to see what it’s like, being with a man. I know it’s probably ridiculous to say, but I feel like something will click into place when I do it.”
Kyle understood what Eric was trying to say, but he wanted to make something clear. “You know you’re not any less bisexual if you never hook up with a man, right? Your sexuality is still completely valid and real, whether you have sex with one gender, multiple genders, or no one at all.”
Eric was silent a long time before answering, “I know. But it still feels...theoretical.”
“It’s not. You know who you are and who you’re attracted to. You don’t have to act on it to make it real.” He glanced over to see Eric’s furrowed brow, and decided to add, “But wanting to act on it is valid too. If doing this is important to you, then you should do it.”
“Thank you,” Eric said quietly. “That was nice to hear. All of it.”
“It’s all true.”
They reached Kyle’s building. He rocked up on his toes, then back on his heels, his hands stuffed firmly in his jacket pockets to keep from reaching out for Eric.
“Well,” Eric said. He was facing Kyle, leaving maybe a foot of space between their chests. They were close in height—Eric an inch or so taller—and it would be so easy for Kyle to lean in a bit and help Eric check thatKiss a Manbox.
But he didn’t. Because he had no right to steal that first time from him. Even if Eric’s eyes were a shade darker than they had been a moment ago.
“We could do this again, if you want,” Kyle said. “Maybe go to a club. Dancing. Sometimes it’s easier when you can just...let go.”
Eric held his gaze. “I’m not good at letting go.”
Kyle’s lips quirked up. “I’ve noticed.” But god, he wanted to help him. He wanted to absolutely unravel this man, and have him desperate and uninhibited. It would be a challenge to get him there, but Kyle felt up to the task. Which isnotwhat he should be thinking.
“I’m going to be busy for a while, but maybe after that we can—”
“Initiate phase two of Operation: Get Eric a Man?”
Eric snorted. “Yeah. But let’s not call it that.”
“I might call it that. So, we hit a club next week?”
