Page 85 of Common Goal

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“He was married. To a woman, I mean. And he had two kids.”

“Oh,” Eric said again, this time more gravely. “I see.”

One of Eric’s hands gripped the railing so tightly, Kyle was sure his knuckles were white under his glove. Kyle wasn’t surprised—it couldn’t be pleasant to learn that the man you’ve been spending time with was a monster.

“And,” he continued, because Eric deserved to know how bad it got, “I knew. Just to be clear, I knew he had a family, but he told me he loved me, and I believed it.” He laughed darkly. “I’d never been with anyone before. I thought I was in love.”

Eric’s jaw was tense, as if he was gritting his teeth. “How old were you?”

“I had just turned eighteen.”

“Jesus.”

“His wife found out, and then the whole town. There were...photographs. Video.”

Eric shook his head, his gaze fixed on something in the distance. Kyle took a slow, stabilizing breath. “After that, my parents felt it was best that I leave town. I know they wanted to protect me, but they also...couldn’t stand the sight of me.”

Kyle didn’t want to talk about how any of it hadfelt. How his fragile, teenage heart had been crushed when Ian had abruptly shut him out completely, and then he’d had to face his parents. God, he’d been a wreck. Heartbroken, devastated, and so, so ashamed. He’d gone from being “that sweet boy, Kyle Swift” to being a depraved sexual vampire, preying on the most respectable man in town. To being the boy inthose pictures.

Kyle waited, now, for Eric to walk away from him. For him to tear into him for being so stupid and selfish. Eric had been married. He would be able to relate to Ian’s wife.

“Kyle,” Eric said. His voice was soft, and Kyle wished it wasn’t. It would be easier if he’d just yell at him. “You know that you’re not the villain in that story, right?”

“I’m not the hero.”

Eric turned to face him. “You were a kid.”

“Not according to the law.” Kyle realized, now that he was a bit older, that Ian’s behavior had perhaps been worse than his own. Kyle should have said no to his advances, but Ian shouldn’t have made them in the first place. Kyle knew, in his heart, that he would never have attempted to seduce Ian. He wouldn’t have even known how to.

“You were a kid,” Eric said again, more firmly. “And that guy took advantage of you.”

“Well. I was certainly a willing participant.”

“He was your boss. I think it’s normal for younger people to develop...crushes...on older people who they admire. Authority figures, even. But it’s up to the older people to not indulge it. A coach should never sleep with a player, even if the player wants to.”

Damn. Eric was making a lot of sense. But Kyle still had arguments to make.

“So people should only date people their own age?”

Eric grimaced, then said, “I think it depends on the situation. But maybe, most of the time, yes. It’s probably best.”

Kyle turned his gaze to the ground. He already knew how Eric felt about dating a younger man, so it shouldn’t sting this much to hear it now. Kyle was feeling a lot of things at once, and he preferred to feel nothing at all. It was safer.

“Anyway,” he said, forcing cheerfulness as he raised his head. “It’s all in the past now. I learned some lessons. Maybe he did too.” Had Kyle actually learned anything, though? He still let his heart make terrible decisions. He still lusted over older men.

God, Eric should run as far as he could from Kyle.

But Eric wasn’t running. In fact, he was setting his coffee cup down on a bench and approaching Kyle with open arms. Kyle set his own cup down and accepted Eric’s hug. Eric’s arms were strong and they tightened firmly around Kyle’s shoulders and around his back. Kyle’s face was pressed into the solid warmth of Eric’s shoulder, and he allowed himself to close his eyes and breathe in Eric’s scent for a moment.

“I’m sorry that was your first experience with, um...”

“Sex? Love? Men? It was. All of that.”

“I’m sorry.”

Kyle blinked rapidly against the burning behind his eyes. It’s not like no one had been sympathetic about this before. Maria had said all of this to him and more. Kip didn’t know about it, because Kyle had never been able to bring himself to tell him. He probably assumed that Kyle’s parents were homophobes. Maybe they were.

“Let’s keep walking.” Kyle was glad his voice was so steady. He felt like he was crumbling apart inside.