Eric hesitated, seeming to brace himself, then said, “I’m retiring. At the end of this season.”
“Oh.” So maybe Eric’s mood had nothing to do with Kyle. And also, “Wow.”
Eric’s chin fell to his chest. “Yeah. It’s, um, it’s going to be hard.”
“Are you unsure about it?”
“No. I know it’s time. I just don’t want to pull the trigger, y’know? Everyone is going to make a bigthingabout it.”
Kyle placed a hand on Eric’s forearm. His muscles were tense from gripping the counter.
“They’ll miss you,” Kyle said gently.
Eric sighed and rubbed his other hand over his face. “I’ll miss them too. I’ll miss everything. I don’t know what I’m going to do after this season.” He turned his head to look at Kyle, and found sadness in his eyes. “My whole life has been hockey. I’m not sure how I’m going to cope when that’s taken away.”
“Hey. Come here.” Kyle pulled him into his arms. Eric pressed his face into the side of Kyle’s neck, and they both just breathed for a minute.
Kyle was surprised to hear that Eric didn’t know what he was going to do after hockey because Eric always seemed so capable and in control. He figured if Eric was retiring, it was because he had a solid plan for what comes next.
“You haven’t told anyone yet?” he asked. “No hockey people?”
“No. No one.”
Kyle tried to ignore the way his heart swelled with knowing Eric had confided in him with something this huge. Again.
Eric lifted his head, and Kyle released him. “I’m going to make an announcement soon,” Eric said. “After Christmas, I think. Or maybe after the All-Star break. I don’t want to do a press conference or anything. Just a written statement. But I’ll have to tell my teammates first, and that won’t be easy.”
“You guys seem like a close bunch.”
“We are. It’s like walking away from your family, y’know?” Eric grimaced. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that to you. I didn’t mean—”
Kyle waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it.” He really didn’t want the conversation to turn toward his issues with his parents. “And you’ll still see those guys, right? You’re staying in New York?”
“I plan to. But it won’t be the same. And last night, at the club with Scott and Carter and Matti...it just got me thinking about it. I love those guys, especially Scott.”
“Scott isn’t going anywhere. And youknowhe’s still going to hang out with you all the time.”
“I know.” Eric straightened his shoulders. “We should eat. It’s probably cold now.”
They sat at the kitchen island next to each other. As they ate, their legs kept brushing together, and Kyle kept stealing glances at Eric. Even when he was melancholy he was still so sexy.
“If you need someone to talk to, I’m here, okay? Anytime.” Kyle grinned. “I mean it. I keep late hours.”
Eric caught his gaze, and for a fleeting moment Kyle thought he saw the same longing he was trying to hide from his own expression. But then it faded, and Eric simply said, “Thank you.”
“And if you need any...distractions, I’ll be happy to help.”
Eric laughed at that. “I’ll let you know.”
Kyle decided to take that as a good sign, and happily ate his omelet, already daydreaming about how he’d like to distract Eric.
“I’m going to be busy for a while,” Eric said after a minute of quiet eating. “We hit the road tomorrow morning for a week, then I’m in Hamilton for a couple of days for Christmas, then gone again on the twenty-eighth for four more days.”
Kyle wasn’t sure if Eric was telling him this for a reason, or if he was just making conversation, but it almost sounded apologetic.
“Sounds hectic,” Kyle said mildly. Truthfully, he did feel a pang of disappointment that Eric wouldn’t be around. He had even been considering inviting him over to watch movies on Christmas Day. But of course Eric was spending Christmas with his family. Because that’s what people whose parents weren’t grossed out by them did on Christmas.
“It will be,” Eric agreed. “But we have a week off at the end of January. I’ve been looking forward to it more than usual this year.”