Page 55 of Beauty Reborn
His smile faded. Perhaps he wouldn’t answer. In the past, I’d deflected serious matters with jest.
“Her father won’t permit me near the house,” he said at last.
His apprenticeship with a moneylender meant less pay than trade work would have brought, but more opportunity for social recognition in the future.
Risks and rewards,I heard my father say.
An apprenticeship took years. Eva might be married to someone else before he finished. Rob was already twenty-six, old enough to incur society’s disapproval for not taking a wife. And suppose he did marry her, only to lose her as Father had lost Mother.
“You’re very brave.” I swallowed.
He frowned at me. “You’re brave too, Beauty. If there’s one thing all the Actons have in common, it’s reckless bravery.”
Hadn’t I gambled too much of my life already in recklessness?
We finished the meal, and the music struck up a merry rhythm. Callista and Thomas were first on the barn floor, twirling and laughing like no one was watching. My sister had a glow to her cheeks I’d never seen before, and for a moment, a pain stabbed so deep I was certain something had pinned my organs to my spine.
Rob slung an arm around my shoulders. “I’m jealous too. It’s what you do about it that matters.”
“I think I’ll ask my brother to dance.”
“Excellent choice.”
My brother wasn’t very tall, and he wasn’t broad-shouldered. In fact, there was nothing incredibly striking about him at all, at least to society’s glance. But he was honest, and he was considerate. I wished he could have carried it as a pennant, an announcement to the world. I wished all people had a flag above their heads announcing them as charitable or unkind, thoughtful or bitter. Then we could all measure our standards by rulers with true weight.
Rob spun me around until I was laughing like Callista, and we stepped on each other’s toes and didn’t care. Country dances had no formality or rigidity, only the joy of music in the air and breath in the lungs. And soon enough, Rob and I had our arms lifted in an arch, the end of a line the others danced through, and above the laughter and the lute was Mr. Merrell’s voice, pure and booming.
Lolly Lyla at the door
Wonder who she’s looking for
Dance, my darling, all the day
Her poor boy has gone away.
I thought of a shining ballroom and a cheerful harpsichord.
I wondered if Andre liked to dance.
When the music turned to a carol, Callista found us in the small crowd, dragging her fiancé, and then I had Rob on one side and Papa on the other, with Callista after that, and then Thomas, all of us holding hands as part of the growing circle, chanting back our answers to Mrs. Merrell who was leading the carol, all of us spinning around her like planets orbiting the sun.
Astra never joined the circle. She stood beside the door of the barn, and whenever my eyes caught hers, she gave an unnerving smile.
Just as I determined to ignore her, she drew my gaze again, and this time—
—Stephan stood with her.
I froze.
My father dragged at my arm, still caught up in the dance, and Rob plowed into me, but nothing could knock me off my feet. I had been rooted to the spot, and I felt the creeping vines all the way up to my neck, holding my head in place, holding my eyes on his.
I was the start of the commotion, but I wasn’t the end of it. As the circle fractured, people noticed, and then came whispers of “the lord baron” until everyone stilled and the music died.
“Oh, please.” Stephan’s voice was loud in the closed area, his wave magnanimous. “Don’t stop on my account. I’m only passing through.”
Hesitantly, the festivities resumed, but my family did not rejoin them. The Merrells welcomed the future baron to their humble celebration, offered him what was left of the feast, their faces pale and embarrassed at the meagerness of it, then relieved at his refusal.
And all the while, his eyes were on me.
