Page 75 of Tour Wars
His frustration bubbled to the surface, making his words come out harsher than he intended. “It sounds like you didn’t even consider staying in Italy. Why not? There are loads of other sites besides Pompeii. What about Sardinia? You’ve worked there before. Or Florence, where you studied conservation? There has to be something.”
She frowned. “Even if there was a job available and I applied, I doubt I’d get hired since I can’t use Dr. Roberti as a reference. Sure, I can claim I worked at Pompeii, but then I’d have to explain why I was let go. It would mean a ton of hustling, and I don’t have it in me.”
“So you’re taking the easy way out?” His response was far too judgmental, but he couldn’t help himself. This wasn’t the Emilia he knew.
Her eyes blazed with a sudden fury. “Why shouldn’t I? I’ve spent the past ten years busting my ass, and for what? To get fired because I wouldn’t fuck my boss’s nephew? Do you have any idea how much that sucks? Of course not, because you’re a man, and you’ll never have to deal with this shit. So, please forgive me if I just want a fucking job.”
Guilt swamped over him. He didn’t want to make this about him, but he didn’t want to lose her, either. “Sorry. I was out of line. But what about us?”
She gave a sad little shrug. “There’s no ‘us.’ Not anymore. You’re staying here, and I’m going to California, and that’s too many miles.”
No.He couldn’t let her go that easily. “But I’ll be home in December. That’s only two months away. We could do the long-distance thing until then.”
“What if you stay until June? Because if Dr. Roberti asks, you’re gonna stay, aren’t you?”
Of course he was. He’d be a fool to turn down an opportunity like that. Another six months of work and a stellar recommendation could make the difference between landing a job next year or coming up short. “Would you blame me if I did?”
“No.” She let go of his hand and stood up, as though too agitated to sit still. “I’d understand it. Your career comes first. It always has. I totally respect that about you.”
Did she? Because right now, she sounded pissed. But he couldn’t promise he’d leave Italy in December. Not even for her.
“The thing is,” she added, “we were fooling ourselves if we thought we had any chance of a future. Once you’re done here, you’re going to look for a job wherever you can, right?”
“Right.” Was that a bad thing? He’d always thought his perseverance was an asset. Suddenly, he wasn’t so sure.
“If that’s the case, who knows where you’ll end up?” she asked. “It probably won’t be Southern California, which means we won’t be together. It’s better to end things now.”
He looked down, overcome with gut-wrenching misery. He should be grateful she was giving him an easy out. She wasn’t begging him to come back to the States or find a job in California. She was urging him to follow his dreams, regardless of where they took him. So why did he feel so awful?
Time to put everything on the line. “I get what you’re saying, but I don’t want to lose you. I’m in love with you.”
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Don’t say that.Please. It’ll make this too hard.”
“It’s the truth. I fell in love with you on that tour, and I—”
“Stop. I don’t have any room in my heart right now. I just lost everything—my job, my gig as a tour guide, my reputation, and my chance to be with you until December. I’m gutted and exhausted, and I can’t make you feel better right now. I just can’t. What we had on the tour was wonderful, but it’s over.” When her phone pinged, she pulled it out of her pocket and glanced at it. “That’s Cesca. She just finished giving a tour of Herculaneum, and she’s coming to pick me up in fifteen minutes. I have to finish packing.”
“Please don’t leave like this. Or at least wait until you’ve had a few days to recover. You might feel differently then.”
He didn’t want to come across as patronizing, but she was in a heightened emotional state. Making huge, life-altering decisions before she’d had time to calm down and think them through. In a week’s time, she might realize how much she wanted him in her life, even if the most he could offer her was a long-distance relationship.
She gave a sad shake of her head. All her anger had vanished, leaving her with a regretful expression that broke his heart. “I don’t think so, TJ, but I’ll let you know if something changes. In the meantime, could I get one last hug?”
He didn’t want to say goodbye. Not after everything they’d shared on the tour—their camaraderie, their teasing friendship, and their nights of passion in Rome. But he couldn’t walk away in anger, either. He stood and took her in his arms, fully aware this might be the last time he ever hugged her.
CHAPTERTHIRTY
One Month Later
Emilia was leaning her head against the passenger-side window of Rick’s truck, halfway to dozing off, when the song “Piano Man” came on the radio. She reached over and turned down the volume.
“Not a Billy Joel fan, I take it?” Rick asked with a grin. Even after a long day of hot, grubby work on the excavation site, he always maintained his good humor. “You can switch the channel if you like.”
“Sorry. It’s not Billy Joel—it’s this song.” A pang of despair washed over her as she recalled TJ playing it on the piano in Bari while she and the rest of the tour group sang along.
“You doing okay?” Rick asked. “You seemed kind of down today. No one in the crew is giving you trouble, are they?”
“Nope. It’s all good. But…” She didn’t want to admit how much she was missing TJ, so she focused on the other issue that had been nagging at her. “I feel kind of guilty. It’s been a month since I moved in with you and Olivia. Aren’t you craving more alone time?”
