Page 63 of Be Our Ghost
He still wasn’t sure why she’d asked to meet him, but he wanted to get his apology out of the way. “I’m sorry about last night. I wasn’t trying to sabotage anything. I just wanted to…”
To what? Torment himself? Make things worse? He’d succeeded on both counts.
She placed her hand on his thigh. “You don’t have to apologize. I’m the one who should be sorry. Not just for last night, but for all of it.”
He froze, so taken aback he couldn’t form a response. Back when he’d blown up at her and Evan, she’d apologized profusely, explaining how she’d never intended to hurt him. But Evan hadn’t reacted the same way. Not once had that fucker ever said he was sorry.
“Knox?” she asked. “Please say something.”
“You don’t have to apologize. It all happened a long time ago. But…” Knox paused, trying to figure out how to justify his actions. “My coming to the gala wasn’t about revenge. I wanted to be a part ofThe Hidden Forestone last time. When I left, I never got to say goodbye. Not to anyone, including the writers I’d worked with. Evan wanted me gone, so I left it all behind.”
“I wish he hadn’t been so insistent on that, but he didn’t trust you. After you were promoted to executive story editor, he started getting paranoid that you’d get him kicked off the show and take all the credit for creating it. That’s why he struck first. After you left, everyone kept asking when you were coming back. The only way for Evan to get the upper hand was to discredit you by making up that shit about you being an alcoholic.”
He let her words sink in, reliving the agony as if it were only yesterday. “For what it’s worth, I never would have kicked him out. Did I get annoyed when he didn’t pull his weight? Sure, but I wouldn’t have ousted him from his own show and then done my best to slander him.”
The guilt on Lila’s face spoke volumes. Like she’d realized—even then—how underhanded Evan had been. “After you left, I tried to find you, but you’d disappeared. I wanted to warn you I’d said some hurtful things in the interviews I’d given. I didn’t mean them.”
For so long, he’d hoped to hear those words. To know that his impulsive fit of temper hadn’t distorted all her memories of him. He just wished she’d told him sooner. “Some of those articles were brutal, but I get it. You didn’t want to look like the villain.”
An elderly couple walked toward the gazebo, and Lila put her head down, as if shielding her appearance. When she spoke again, her voice was so soft he could barely hear her. “It’s so much harder for women in this industry. Evan said if I didn’t paint you as the bad guy, my reputation would suffer. I’d be called a slut or a cheating bitch. He told me the best way to spin the story, and I stuck with it.”
A few of those interviews had dug deep into Knox’s soul, making him question himself. After a while, he’d stopped reading anything aboutThe Hidden Forest.
“Knox?”
“Sorry. I’d rather not remember that phase of my life. I appreciate the apology, though.” He waited until the couple had passed the gazebo before speaking again. “Can I ask you one thing? Did you truly not feel any passion for me?” For years, that confession had hurt him more than almost anything. “Or was that what Evan coached you to say?”
She looked up at him, her ocean-blue eyes misted over with tears. “It was the truth. But that didn’t diminish my affection for you. When we were first together, I needed someone to protect me and make me feel cherished, and you took such good care of me. But it wasn’t true passion.”
Her words hit him like a gut punch, swift and brutal. Would anyone ever feel that way about him? Or was he doomed to take care of women who’d move on once they found someone who offered them more?
She gave him a slight smile. “But Knox? That woman you were with last night? The one who stood up for you? She sounded very passionate.”
That made him feel even worse. “Yeah, well, I fucked that up, too. After we left the Grand Duke, we got into an argument, and I drove her away.”
He’d been such an idiot. Why had he turned on Charlie like that?
“You might be able to get her back. She knows about your past, doesn’t she?”
“She’s one of the only people I’ve told since I moved here. Other than my family.” He braced his hands against the bench, knowing he needed to take the next step. “But I’m sick of keeping it hidden.”
Charlie had been right in that aspect. He would never put old ghosts to rest until he came to terms with his past.
“Honestly, I can’t believe you never spoke up,” Lila said.
“Believe me, I thought about it. But after reading those interviews you and Evan gave—and then making the mistake of scrolling through the comments—I backed off. I also figured the truth might harm your reputation.” Not that he’d owed her anything. But he’d never wanted to hurt her.
“It might have, but it won’t matter as much now. Five years ago, I was still finding my footing. I’ve come a long way since then. If there’s a little backlash, so be it. I’m tired of being Princess Elodie. I’ve agreed to do a couple of episodes next season, and then I’m bowing out.”
Of all the things he’d learned this morning, this was the most startling. Lila WinsteadwasPrincess Elodie. Though her star had risen steadily over the past eight years, she wasn’t known for much else. “I thought you loved the show.”
“I loved it when I first started and for five years after that. But over the last few years, I’ve done a few indie projects when we were on hiatus and realized I want more from my career. My agent sent me a few screenplays that look promising, and I’m ready for the next step. All of a sudden, I feel like the world is wide open.”
She spoke with such passion that he remembered how much he’d admired her, back when she’d shared her dreams with him. “That’s great. What does Evan think?”
She grimaced. “He’s not happy. We spent months fighting about it.The Hidden Forestis his golden goose. It’s all he’s ever worked on, and he’s not ready to let it go.” She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “We’re getting a divorce. We decided to keep it quiet until after the gala.”
No matter what she’d done to him, Knox hated seeing her in pain. “I’m sorry.”
