Page 75 of Cause When You Love Someone
“You don’t look fine.” She inched closer until she was sitting Indian style. “I know things between us have been tense, but you’re still my child. Tell me how you’rereallydoing.”
The second time she inquired about my mood, the levee that kept my tears at bay cracked at the seams.
“I don’t know. I always knew I had to watch my words, but I never believed my thoughts had so much power. No one could tell me that my silent wishes for Chaz to disappear didn’t somehow manifest into his demise.” I filled my lungs with air. “I’m confused on how Ishouldfeel. I want to find peace in knowing he won’t bother me again, but I’m not heartless like you—” I cuffed my lips. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“You don’t have to spare my feelings, Clarke. I get it.” She shrugged. “I get upset with myself when I think about how much I act like my mother. She was a sharp-tongued lady who thought she could say what she wanted because she was honest. She raised me to be hard—even with those I love. It’s not an excuse, but it’s the truth. She taught me that love was honest, but we didn’t get into the kind part.”
“Wow. You’ve never told me that. Granny never showed me that side of her.” I scoffed. “That may make it worse. She was able to turn her toxic tendencies off and on. You didn’t deserve that.”
“Back then, I didn’t, but now, I’m everything she said I would be. Anyway, I thought your bodyguard would be close.”
I hesitated, unsure of how much I should share. Ishmael went to Vegas at four in the morning after I promised to FaceTime call every few hours. We hadn’t had time to enjoy the news of my pregnancy since the news about Chaz broke. Still, in between minutes of silence, he stole seconds to caress my belly and whisper sweet nothings to his little one.
“Ishmael’s handling the assault case. On another note, thanks for coming by. It means a lot to me.”
“You don’t have to thank me for doing what a mother is supposed to do. I hate how death brings people together, but I had to take a chance.” The line of her sight fell to the floor. “I understand why you cut me off, but I hope I can fix thingsbetween us. You are my only child, and you’re having your first baby. I don’t want to miss that experience.”
“Then you have to prove it. If Chaz’s death has taught me anything, I’ve realized we all leave a mark on the people we connect with. My baby isn’t a prop or an experiment.”
“I understand.”
We sat in mute for minutes before she started smiling. “I can already tell you’re going to be a better mom than me. I also know Ishmael has your back. For what it’s worth, I’ve always been fond of him.”
“It’s not worth much, because your opinion doesn’t matter,” I answered confidently. “At one point, you liked him a little too much.”
She dumped a girlish giggle into her palm. “Don’t do that. That man was never worried about me. When he started working off the clock, I knew he didn’t have eyes for anyone but you.”
“What’s good, baby mama!”
My eyes sprinted to the other side of the room, where Ishmael’ssisterscrammed the doorway. The ladies were dressed like they were coming from four different events, but they looked good. Three of them strutted into the room with animated expressions, and Blaze displayed a grimace. I followed the path of her squint and recognized that her hazel eyes were drilled into my mom.
“Clarke,” my mom muttered as she stood. “I’m going to give you some time with your friends. I don’t have your new number, but you have mine. When you’re free, give me a call. Please.”
“I’ll call you, Mom.”
I waited until Mrs. Rose was out of the building, then I stepped to the ladies Ishmael treated like sisters.
“How did you lovely ladies know I was here?”
Clover, Durk’s lady, batted her curly lashes. “Superman told us.”
I let loose a short chuckle. “What do you mean?”
“When Durk called to check in, I asked about you. Ishmael said we could probably find you here. We came to take you out.”
My eyes raced to the two-piece Alo set I wore. “I don’t have any clothes.”
Stony lifted a garment bag. “That excuse won’t work. Everything in this bag has tags on it. I even included toiletries so you can freshen up. Now, go get extra pretty. We have a reservation.”
The garment bag held two big label fits, and as much as I wanted to choose the pink dress, my hands grasped the black Lacoste polo dress. All the crying I did over the last couple of weeks had my eyes puffy, so I put on the Dolce frames I wore to the studio and prepared to get into the sun.
“Where are y’all taking me?”
“Somewhere cute,” Essen replied. “I know you’ve been going through a lot, and Ishmael has been attached to your hip. We didn’t want you to forget you have a village even when the chief isn’t around.”
When we pulled into a parking lot, I tried to recall if I had ever been there before. The spot was on the north side of Silk Hills, located in a small shopping center with only three suites. I wanted to question the location for a second time, but instead, I took a few deep breaths and exited the car.
Inside the suite, vibrant colors tinted the walls and floors, and the table and chair setup reminded me of a paint and sip event. A tall, ebony beauty I assumed was the owner journeyed from behind a small table as we stepped through the room.
