Page 77 of Cause When You Love Someone
His breath blew thinly through the line. “All right, Clarke. Take whatever time you need.”
Chapter 14
Ishmael
Devotion
“Oh my God.” Isabella groaned. “This line is so long.”
“I told you it would be, but you didn’t want to get up early. Don’t start complaining now.”
She smacked her lips. “Why not? You’ve been complaining about coming to see Mommy ever since the first time I asked.”
My mom had been locked up for a few weeks, and every week, Isabella asked if we could visit her. Had I been her age, I may have had the same desire to see my mom no matter the circumstances. In my case, I was a grown ass man, sick of dealing with my mother’s bullshit. After going to court for my own case, the last thing I wanted to do was voluntarily walk into a courtroom or jail.
“I know you’re mad at her, but she needs our support, Ish.”
“I do support her. Her commissary is laced.”
Izzy rolled her eyes. “Eww. You sound like a deadbeat that pays child support but doesn’t see his kids.”
“That’s the problem. Mariah isn’t my damn child. Everybody seems to forget that.”
We stood in line for almost an hour before we reached the last security check-in and were directed to the visiting room. There were a few men scattered throughout the room, but most of the visitors were women.
“I swear, I’m never having kids,” Izzy muttered when a few babies in the room started to wail.
“There’s nothing wrong with having children. The important thing is making sure you have kids with the right person. You get pregnant by a street nigga, then you can expect to take your baby to the pen instead of the park. The choice is yours.”
Right as I got comfortable on the metal bench, a second set of inmates were escorted into the room. Even with the weeks that passed, my mom had gained some weight. I assumed that meant she hadn’t gotten her hands on anything while in custody.
“Mommy! You look good. You put on a few pounds,” Izzy greeted her.
“Please, don’t remind me.” She tugged on the collar of her green jumpsuit. “Hi, Ishmael.”
“What’s up, Mariah? It’s good to see you.”
She pursed her dry lips. “I bet you do love seeing me behind bars.”
“You know that’s not what I meant. I’m happy you’re surviving.”
“Barely,” she mumbled. “I would appreciate it if you added a few extra dollars to the pot. I want to get more sausage and noodles from the store.”
Izzy sucked her teeth. “Enough about food. We talked to your lawyer. She said she may be able to get your three-year sentence reduced.”
“That’s good. I need to get back to my man and my baby.”
I scoffed at her audacity. “That nigga let you take a charge for him. You still haven’t learned shit.”
“Please! Don’t pretend to care whether I stay in here or come home. With me out the way, you can have my daughter to yourself, like you’ve been trying to do.”
I gnawed on the inside of my jaw, hoping the pain would override my anger. If Izzy could visit Mariah without me, I would’ve jetted out the door and waited in the car. I had hoped going to jail for possession would change Mariah’s outlook on life, but it didn’t take long to realize it hadn’t.
“Ma, you’re not being fair. Ishmael has changed his life for me to be comfortable. You should just say thank you.”
“Fuck that! He’s always judging me, but I heard he went to jail too.” Her heavy-lidded gaze raced to me. “Somebody ended up dead behind you and your bitch. Yeah, I know about the Hollywood drama you’re in with that reality star you work for.”
“You can say what you want, but I’m nothing like you. Unlike you, I don’t gain anything from you going to jail.” All the emotions I had held in for years rose to the surface. “Mariah, you’ve always loved you more than you’ve loved me, and it shows. The day you put yo’ man above me, I knew it. But still, I’ve taken care of you. Prayed and provided for you. We ain’t nothing alike. Now, do what you’ve done for years and ignore me. Talk to your daughter.”
