Page 78 of Cause When You Love Someone
I remained quiet for the rest of the visit, allowing the mother-daughter duo to catch up without adding my two cents.
Our time at the jail ended around three, and after grabbing something to munch on, we started our two-hour drive back home. With so much going on, I needed the time to drive and think. Clarke had cried herself into a hole since Chaz had offed himself, and I didn’t know if I could pull her out of it. I was secure in my relationship, but I could see guilt behind her eyes every time I looked at her.
“Ishmael, Mommy only has three years or less. I wouldn’t be mad if we didn’t go back. I can see her when she comes home.”
My focus raced from the highway. “Where did that come from?”
“My heart,” she answered. “Nobody in this world loves me more than you. I never want you to get hurt trying to make me happy. Mommy is ungrateful. I know it bothers you.”
“I’m good, Izzy.”
“You’re not. I can tell. I know Clarke calls you Superman, but you have feelings too. Besides, we have other things to get ready for. I’m about to be an auntie!”
Even with the tension in our home, my heart kicked up its heels at the idea of building my own family.
When rumors circulated that Clarke was pregnant, it took me by surprise. But when I read Chaz was the father, it broke my heart. Even with his pop-up visits, I didn’t believe Clarke was giving her body to anyone but me. I started to confront her about the rumors, but my pride wouldn’t allow it. The day Chaz added us to the group chat, he all but confirmed my suspicions were true. Clarke and her baby were mine.
“Izzy, how do you feel about everything going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“The baby. Clarke. All that good stuff.”
She bounced around in her seat. “I’m happy. Proud. I know how you feel about having a family.”
“And you know you’ll always be my favorite person, right?”
“Duh. When you moved into your house, I thought you would forget about me. But then you made sure to pick me up, take me out, and just kick it with me. After that, I knew you would never let me down.”
I blinked away the tears that balanced on the brim of my eyes. I tried to keep my orbs still to keep my tears from falling. I never needed praise for taking care of my sister, but her appreciation touched my soul.
“Have you decided on a name for Baby Rose?”
“It damn sure won’t be Baby Rose. We don’t know what we’re having, so it’s still up in the air.”
“Well, as much as I love Clarke, don’t let her name my baby Apple or Galaxy. You know how those reality stars do.”
From the driver’sside of my truck, I obsessed over my lady as she checked her appearance in the sun visor.
“Saying you look good at a time like this seems inappropriate, but I don’t give a damn.”
“Cut it out.” Clarke’s eyes sparkled with laughter. “Also, I would like to hear more.”
I was happy to see her weak grin had light behind it. For two weeks, I could tell Clarke didn’t really feel comfortable smiling, but she seemed more at peace.
Though most guests seemed to park in the lot behind the church, I parked in a restricted area, and my brothers followed me. After I mentioned Clarke’s decision to attend the funeral, my folks and their ladies demanded to come with us.
For a second, I checked my surroundings, then got out of my truck and walked around to let Clarke out. Hand-in-hand, we wandered over to where my family waited for us.
“Y’all ready to do this?” Church asked the group.
Clarke breathed windstorms through her nose. “As ready as we’re going to be.”
Even though we all wore black, we stood out amongst the crowd as we mobbed down the block. Cameramen and pockets of people filled the sidewalks, and the streets were packed with double-parked cars. Clarke and I had a conversation about how we would handle the day, but once we got to the church’s steps, I didn’t want to let her go.
“Baby,” she whispered.
I lifted her glasses off her face so I could see her eyes. “Are you going to be okay? I can go inside with you. I dare a muthafucka to say something.”
