Page 59 of When I'm Gone
“I don’t.”
“I thought you said Violet was your sister?” Annie pulled their intertwined hands on her lap, drawing in closer to Luke’s side.
“She was,” he answered, dreading what he had to say next. “But she’s dead now.”
“Oh,” Annie said softly. “I’m sorry I made you tell me this. You can stop.”
“I don’t want to stop. I want you to know why I worry ... about you.” When she didn’t respond, he continued with his story. “My father didn’t get the job. He went to the bar to drown his sorrows. That’s when he saw Alex Kerks, one of the supervisors over at his old job. Alex made the mistake of asking how things were going and mentioned he’d heard my mom was expecting. I still don’t know what happened, but my dad left convinced my mom was sleeping around and the baby wasn’t his.
“I’ll never forget the slam of that door; it shook the whole house. I knew, I just knew, everything was going to go back to the way it had always been. It didn’t take long, a few shouts, several well-placed hits, and one last swift kick before he ran out the front door. It was enough. My sister was born that night in the hallway by the kitchen. She was already dead.” A lump rose in Luke’s throat. Until now, he’d been able to maintain a monotone delivery, telling the story as though he was recounting a movie plot. Annie was still beside him, the warmth of her body seeping through his T-shirt.
“Were you there?” she asked, shuddering. He could feel her eyes on his, but he tried not to look at her because he didn’t want to cry.
“Uh-huh,” he grunted, barely able to hold back the burning in his eyes. He had to keep going. She had to know the risks of staying when you should run. “I left after Violet was born; I went and hid in the shed in Natalie’s backyard. In the morning she came and found me there. The whole town was out searching for me and my dad.”
“Your mom called the police?”
Luke shook his head slowly and turned to meet Annie’s gaze. The swelling was going down, and the whites of her eyes now looked like porcelain. Several crimson scratches lined her face, as if they’d been drawn on carefully with a colored pencil. A sliver of glass was entwined in the tangles of her hair. He reached out and gently worked the shard out of its resting place.
“She didn’t call the police,” he said, sweeping his gaze over her face as she stared at the glass he had removed from her hair. “Natalie’s father did. He noticed our front door gaping open the next morning. When he went inside to check on us, he saw the blood, followed the trail into my mom’s room, and found her and baby Violet in her bed.”
“So he called the authorities.” Annie took the glass from his hand and held it in her own. “Was your mom scared?”
“No, Annie, she wasn’t scared.”
“Oh?” She looked up in surprise.
“She was dead.”
“What?” It took a few seconds for the shock to register on her face.
“She bled out while she was sleeping.”
“Oh my God.” Annie gasped and dropped the glass on the carpet as though it had cut her.
“They all thought I was dead too. But Natalie figured out where I was hiding. The way she kissed me when she came through the makeshift door told me more than words. We hid in the shed together for hours. CPS came for me a few hours later, and I never spent another night in that house.”
“So, you thinkthatcould happen to me?” There were tears in her eyes, but they were different than the torrent when he’d found her just a little while earlier. These tears collected slowly on the rims of her eyelids, still, like a pool or a lake.
“I’m not afraid Brian’s going to kill you.” Even as he said the words, he wasn’t sure he believed them. “That’s not true. After what I saw tonight, I’m scared as hell I could lose you. But what scares me almost as much as you dying like my mom is you living like her.”
It seemed like Annie hadn’t taken a breath in over a minute. When she blinked, twin tears fell down her cheeks, one running over her top lip. Luke wiped it away with his fingertips. Annie closed her eyes and leaned in, her breath coming a little faster. He’d never noticed how soft her lips looked; he’d never considered what it would be like to press his mouth against hers, to put his arms around her waist, pull her against his body and never let go.
Oh no, no, no. He couldn’t have these thoughts about Annie. Not only was she still in a very committed, though abusive, marriage, she was also his wife’s best friend.Hisonly real friend. Luke yanked his hand back and stood suddenly. Annie slipped to one side, her head nearly hitting the armrest. She brushed the wet trails off her face and looked up at him, startled.
“You okay?”
“It’s getting late, and I’m sure you’re tired. We can talk more in the morning.” His bare feet smacked at the cold tile in the kitchen. He patted the pile of clothes as he spoke. “Um, so, here are your pajamas, and you are welcome to sleep in May’s room if you like. Probably safer than Will’s habitat.” He waited for her to laugh but realized too late that laughter was out of the picture tonight. “I’ll put a toothbrush in the kids’ bathroom and a towel. Anything else I can get for you?”
Annie sat upright and ran a hand through her hair. It had a little curl to it tonight, flipping up at the ends instead of hanging evenly above her shoulders.
“That’s fine,” she answered. “But I think I’ll sleep down here if it’s all the same to you.” She rolled her head back and forth, stretching her neck. Luke couldn’t help but notice the slope of her shoulders, the curve of her neck. How could he turn this new voice off inside his head? The only plan was distance. Putting a whole floor of house between them should help. It had to help. He was tired, overwhelmed from the events of the night. He’d be back to normal in the morning. They’d have a nice quiet Sunday morning and then figure out what could possibly come next.
“Yeah, of course.” He took another step back, eager to be within the confines of his safe, welcoming bed. “Make yourself at home.”
“Don’t I always?” A trace of a smile tickled the edge of her mouth. Wobbling as she stood, she braced herself on the back of the couch. “Guess I’m more tired than I realized.”
She rounded the couch. Luke waved as he backed down the hall toward the front door and said, “I’ll see you in the morning.”
