Page 57 of Good Days Bad Days
What the hell?
The discussion seems civil enough, and when Ian pivots back into the house, closing the door, he’s holding a large box that matches the others we retrieved from the Janesville library basement yesterday afternoon. The textured projector container is already lined up against the wall alongside the other two boxes I’d forgotten in his car.
“Uh, hi?” I say to Ian, letting go of my tender shin, cocking my head with aWhat is going on?expression on my face. I know he can hear the confusion in my greeting, but he doesn’t address it.
“Your friend said you forgot these.” He puts the last box on the ground and looks me up and down in my postbath state.
“Why didn’t you get me?” I ask, untwisting the towel from my hair and shaking it out with my fingers. I quickly retrieve my boots from the closet and force them on. Ian watches me with raised eyebrows, sitting on the back of the couch as I head for the door.
“Olivia is getting ready. I’m taking her to dinner, if you’d like to come. She said you were in the bath and I didn’t want to disturb you, so I just ... wait, are you going out there like that? You’ll freeze.”
“I’ll be fine,” I say, slamming the door behind me. As I walk, the cool air blasts against my damp skin and settles in my hair, giving me a deep chill. Cam’s car is parked in the street parallel to the house, and he’s halfway into the front seat when I call his name across the lawn.
“Cam!” I wave my arms wildly. I must look like an eccentric shut-in limping down the slight slope of the lawn in my boots and pajamas.He seems to hesitate before coming around the front of the SUV. He’s wearing a Brewers baseball cap, and the bill casts a shadow on his eyes so I can’t see his expression. My fingers are numb when he meets me on the cracked cement of the driveway. I warm them under my armpits, crossing my arms to hide my lack of a bra.
“You should’ve let me know you were coming. I would’ve put on real clothes,” I say, shaking my cold, damp hair away from my face.
“I texted. You didn’t answer so I thought I’d stop by since I was around the corner at my parents’ place. Clearly, I overstepped,” he says, taking in my disheveled state. I suddenly realize how it must’ve looked when Ian opened the door while I was in the bath.
“No. You didn’t overstep at all. I really appreciate it. I was telling Olivia about the films, and now that we have the projector, we can watch them. She’ll be really excited.” I fight off a tremor of shivers, clenching my jaw.
“Glad I could help,” he says with a nod, spinning his keys. I get a peek at his eyes. They look disconnected, like he’s trying to hide that he cares.
OK. So Ian got into his head. How can I blame Cam for feeling thrown off? We hadn’t officially called our outing a date, but it was definitely heading in that direction until my estranged husband showed up and put a damper on things. I’m still relieved Cam and I didn’t cross that line last night, but that doesn’t mean I want him out of my life or that I’m ready to completely write off our connection.
“So, um,” I start cautiously, “do you want to come in and we can watch a few episodes ofThe Classy Homemaker, order some Thai?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“You have other plans?”
Cam’s shoulders flinch and he scratches his shoe against the raised edge of one of the cement fissures in the driveway. “No, but you haven’t seen your family in a while. I ... I don’t want to interrupt.”
“Cam,” I say firmly, placing my hand on his forearm, not caring that Ian is probably watching. “Ian is staying at The Cove. He’s here to pick up Olivia, so I’m free for the night.”
I’ll miss dinner with my daughter, but then I remember her as a little girl, with her chin propped up on her knees, singing along with the twins, Sharon and Susan, inThe Parent Trap, and get suspicious. This is part of her plan.
“Ah.” Even through his puffer jacket I can sense his body unclenching at the new information. He rests his warm hand over mine. “You’re so cold.”
“No. No. I’m fine.”
“I think hypothermia is definitely setting in,” he jokes sweetly, taking my other hand and sandwiching both between his, rubbing quickly to warm them up. He looks over my head at the house, like he’s debating whether he’s ready to confront Ian or if he’ll have to let me freeze to death.
Oh man, I like Cam a lot. I like who he is now and the memories of who he was to me thirty years ago. I also like that he’s apparently found a way to forgive me for the mistakes I made as a teenager. It’s an impressive example, one I’m grateful for, one I want to understand, one I want to emulate. He was a refuge for me when I was younger, and so supportive on our semi-date last night. When I was a teen, Cam didn’t think of me as the weird kid with the erratic mom, and he doesn’t think of me now as an out-of-touch Hollywood type. He’s always seen me for me. That sense of emotional safety is something I currently lack, especially compared to how I feel with Ian right now.
A door slams behind me. Cam backs away, and the cadence of the footsteps heading our way lets me know why. As Ian approaches, I brace myself for a potentially heated exchange, accusations, and questions about what happened while we were apart and where we stand as a couple. But Ian doesn’t stop. He rushes past and climbs behind the wheel of his rental SUV.
Olivia pauses to explain. “We’re going to Hogs and Kisses for a burger or something. You coming, Mom?” she asks, enunciating “Mom” to make it clear Cam is not invited. She has to know what my answer will be, standing on the front lawn wearing no makeup, pajamas, and my hair more frozen than dry.
“I think I’ll pass,” I say, kissing her cheek. “We might not have paparazzi here, but I’m still not sure anyone is ready for this look.” Cam laughs, and Olivia seems to find it irritating.
“We’ll be back in a little bit,” she says to us both as though I’m a teenager being left at home with my boyfriend.
“We’ll be good, Mom. I swear,” I say, mocking her parental tone. Olivia rolls her eyes and joins Ian in the car. As they drive away, I raise my eyebrows at Cam.
“How about now? Dinner and a movie?” I ask again and then think of an additional offer to help make him more comfortable. “I’ll invite Lacey.”
Cam looks down the road and then back at me, shaking his head like I’ve tricked him into something. “How do I say no to that?”
