Page 19 of Desperate Pucker
I frown at the hesitation in her voice. “No, why?”
She pauses. “It’s Sergei. He’s engaged. To Natalia.”
I stop dead in my tracks. My legs wobble, and it feels like the floor is falling out under my feet.
I plant my free hand on the nearby wall. “What?”
“Oh, darlin’. I am so sorry.” Her tone is soft and gentle. That doesn’t make hearing this news any easier, though.
She starts to speak again, but I don’t hear her. All I can focus on is the fact that my cheating ex is engaged to the woman who he cheated on me with…who also won gold the year I blew it and got bronze.
I clear my throat and try to steady my voice. “I didn’t know they were still together.”
“I just didn’t want you to see it on sports news or entertainment news and feel blindsided.”
“Right.” I let out a breath, my chest tight. I know my mom meant well, but this news feels like a kick to the throat.
My ex upgraded. He went from a failed, disgraced figure skater to an Olympic gold medalist.
Tears burn in my eyes. I swallow hard and clear my throat. “I have to go, Mom. I’m late for a meeting,” I lie.
I stand in the hallway, slumped against the wall, feeling like the biggest loser on the planet.
It’s not supposed to go this way. Sergei the serial cheater isn’t supposed to live happily ever after with a beloved figure skating darling. Not after the way he treated me.
I think back to the six years we dated. All those comments he made about my body and my eating habits. How he’d pinch the fleshy part of my hips when he thought I was carrying extra weight…how he’d lecture me about empty calories if I got hungry past nine at night and wanted a snack…how he’d side-eye me anytime I went for seconds or ordered dessert…
You really have to watch what you eat, babe. You’re bigger than the other girls in this sport. Even a few extra pounds make you look kind of fluffy.
I’d never call you fat, but coaches would. I’m just trying to help you be the best skater you can be.
You skate better when you’re down a few pounds. You’re so much faster and more graceful.
My stomach churns at how, for the entirety of our relationship, I struggled with disordered eating…and how I never once defended myself when he insulted my body or weight. How I just went along with what he said, hoping it would make him love me more.
I tried to be the tiny, delicate figure skater he wanted on his arm. And in the end, I found out he was hooking up with otherwomen behind my back for almost our entire relationship. I realized I’d never, ever be good enough for him, no matter what I did. No matter how hard I tried to change myself.
Hot tears stream down my cheeks as I search his name on the news app on my phone.
His handsome, smiling face appears along with Natalia’s.
Figure skating golden couple engaged!
I skim the news article, then spot the comments below. I shouldn’t read them, but I’m too curious.
Aww cutest couple ever!
Their babies are gonna be beautiful!
Didn’t he date some other figure skater? Madeline Macer?
Sergei upgraded for sure. His ex was the psycho chick who freaked out at the Olympics. At least Natalia doesn’t have temper tantrums on live TV
She’s a step up from that spoiled brat he used to date
My stomach churns. My chest feels unbearably tight.
“Hey.” Ingrid’s voice pulls me out of my pity stupor.
