Page 13 of Dante
I shook my head. “That’s nice of you. I’m good though. I don’t know what your schedule is like, but I’ll have the letter tomorrow if you want to swing by the bakery and pick it up.”
“I can do that.” Augustus looked like he wanted to say something but didn’t.
“What?”
The hellhound shook his head. “Nothing. I’ll give him the note. Don’t give up though. He’ll come around. He’s just stubborn.”
It was my turn to shake my head. “Naw. He doesn’t want me, and I have to respect that. Sometimes, pairings aren’t always right. Maybe we’ll be given different mates, maybe not.” I shrugged. “I really appreciate you giving him the letter for me though.”
I knew Augustus wanted to say more; instead, he just nodded. I offered a smile before I turned and went back inside my house. There was no reason to go looking for Dante if he wasn’t even here. But I did have a letter to write. And I really needed to schedule an appointment with Dr. Braun soon. I needed to talk about…well, everything.
Chapter 5
Dante
“You’re a first-class idiot.”
I turned at the sound of Augustus’s angry voice.
“What did I do now?” I asked. We were in the middle of the New Mexico desert, trying to see if there was going to be more activity in the Nexus. He wasn’t on this assignment, but here he was. “And what are you doing here?”
He shoved an envelope at my chest, and I barely had time to grab it before he let go. “You do not deserve to have him as a mate. You should ask the fates to release him from you so someone else can have him.”
I narrowed my eyes. “What are you talking about?” I looked down at the envelope and saw my name written on it in neat little print. I looked back up at Augustus. “What’s this?”
“A letter,” Augustus said. “From your mate.” He looked over at Atticus, who had joined us. “The mate that you didn’t even bother letting know you were going out on assignment. The mate you obviously don’t want.” Augustus shook his head. “If you don’t want him, I’ll gladly take him. Just ask the fates to let him go.”
My beast pushed to the surface, and it was only the fact that Atticus was there and had grabbed my arms that I didn’t rip the head off my packmate. Instead, I growled at Augustus. “You stay away from him.”
“Or you’ll what? You don’t want him. Remember? You left without even telling him you were going out on assignment. Again. Why? Why is it that you have so little regard for that sweet omega? Is it because he was raped? Is it because he was drugged? Why? He didn’t choose those things!”
I managed to break through Atticus’s hold and shoved at Augustus. “You weren’t there, you asshole! You don’t know what he went through,” I said harshly. “Well, I was. I had to watch him and the others get raped and abused over and over. I had to watch as they were chosen for those sick games every fucking time. And I couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t help them,” I shouted as I beat my own chest. I walked away, warring with myself. I turned back to Atticus and Augustus. “I was there. I saw him. All of them. And I couldn’t save them. Not without all of us getting killed. And I will have to live with myself for that for the rest of my miserable life. I would give anything to be able to have Banner as mine. But I don’t deserve him.” I shook my head and then walked away.
I couldn’t do this. I used magic and popped myself into the middle of nowhere. I looked around and sighed. Antarctica was a good place for a hellhound like me. There was nobody else around, and I wasn’t a threat to the penguins. I used magic to hide myself and make a little shelter. When I stepped in out of the cold, immediately, thoughts of Banner flooded my mind.
Despite everything he had been forced to endure, he was incredibly sweet. Yes, he’d cursed me out more than once when we’d both first arrived at the council, but I’d deserved it. I knew he had been hurting more than I could ever hope to understand.And him taking his anger and frustrations out on me when he was hurting as he was, that was acceptable.
I looked around the small space and sighed. Was this the answer? No. Was this what I needed at the moment? Yes. I knew if I didn’t get away from Augustus, I was going to say or do something that I regretted. I also knew that Augustus wouldn’t back down. He was going to keep pushing until he got what he felt were the correct answers.
Well, I didn’t have any for him. I would love nothing more than to come home to that sweet omega and hold him all night and protect him like I couldn’t then. But I didn’t have the right to claim him like I wanted. He deserved someone who wouldn’t be a constant reminder of failure. I had let him and the others down, and I would have to live with that the rest of my life.
Yes, I’d seen the therapist. Dr. Bennett had gone over it with me many times. That didn’t change the fact that I’d not been able to stop what was happening to Banner and the others. That would never erase the guilt I had to live with for all of eternity. Or the nightmares that I couldn’t erase.
I sat down on the small bed and leaned forward, trying to figure out what I needed to do. Should I leave the council? If I went away, would Banner be gifted a new mate? He deserved one. I didn’t have access to the fates, but I had to wonder if I explained everything to Master Edison, if he could reach out for me.
I glanced down at the now crumpled letter in my hand. I used magic to smooth it out and ran my finger over the neat handwriting on the front. “Dante.” That was all it said. Just my name. Something that I’d not chosen but had been given to me all those centuries ago. I’d not been in the best place when I first needed to choose a last name, and Coal was what felt like fit me then. I honestly didn’t know, but now I wondered aboutBanner’s last name. And his family. Had they been responsible for his captivity?
I opened the envelope and pulled out the papers. I fanned them out and realized it was two pages long. Apparently, Banner had a lot to say to me because just a quick glance showed the same neat print that was on the envelope, and it wasn’t large. I took a deep breath and started reading.
Dante,
Hi. I know you don’t want to hear from me, and this will be the last time I bother you.
I looked off to the side and glared. Why was it he thought he was bothering me? I rarely saw the sweet man. I sighed. I was sure this was my fault, and probably one of the many reasons why Augustus was so upset with me. I lay down on the bed and held the pages up to continue reading.
I just wanted to take a moment and tell you I was sorry. I know I never said those words to you, and I owe them and so many more.
I sat up, growling again. At this rate, it was going to take me days to get through the letter. I took a deep breath, then focused back on the words printed on the paper.
