Page 51 of Hangman's Knot
"Fuck off," he says, but there's no heat in it.
When he tilts her head back straight, he thinks he's fixed this part at least. It hangs in a straight line to right above the knob at the top of her spine, the pieces of golden honey shimmering in the light of the bathroom mirror.
It's harder to match the sides, but he manages to even it out, angling the front pieces to be slightly longer because he thinks they'll look pretty framing her face.
"That's it, then," he says, unable to keep the nervousness out of his voice. "Is it okay?"
When Eden turns to look in the mirror, he thinks he really fucked it up, because he sees tears glistening in her eyes as some unknown female emotion pours through the bond.
Where the fuck did she evendig upthese fucking emotions? Were they sitting in some part of the female hindbrain somewhere that he didn't have? Why had he never felt shit like this until he met her her?
In the prison all he ever got from her had been piss her pantslevels of fear or pussy drenchingneed to fuck nowthat came through during heat spikes. When they had been separated after she was released, she had just been numb, with tiny crumbs of fear and grief slipping through occasionally.
But now she was like a goddamn Christmas tree in the bond, all shiny flashing multi coloured lights of joy and surprise and other shit he didn't even know, occasionally with some shiny tinselly nervousness, and a prickly bit of something that felt like panic occasionally.
How the fuck did she have him thinking in Christmas tree metaphors? Fuck. But that's what she was. She was the human equivalent of Christmas morning, and every day he got to unwrap her again like the gift she was.
"It looks really good," she finally says, putting him out of his misery. "Thank you."
"It looks beautiful, baby," Tenor says, weaselling between them to plant a kiss on her chubby cheek. "But we have to check out soon. We can't stay in one place too long in case..."
In case they were being watched or followed, but they didn't say that to her.
Julius didn't think they were being tracked. The IDs the general had got them were as legit as any could be, and he assumed they were probably pretty far off any radars that might want to exact anymore revenge on them for fucking with their money-making omega trafficking organization. But he didn't want to be too careful.
Eden turns into a prickly cactus of anxiety in the bond but doesn't argue.
Chapter Nineteen
Eden
???
Hotel hopping was not ideal for a traumatized omega who had suffered a prolonged separation from her mates and was still reeling from traumatic events.
But neither was the shitty apartment she had been in, to be totally fair. It wasn't really the hotels' fault. They were very nice hotels, but they kept moving them every couple days, not allowing her to settle or properly nest.
The one they were currently in was probably the nicest so far. They had booked a suite with a whole kitchen, living room, and office, and a huge marble bathroom with a soaking tub that fit all of them. It even had soft three-ply toilet paper, which she couldn't afford even in her own apartment.
Really, it was the nest that was the real problem. It wasn't...hers. The hotel nests were like a liminal space, sanitized and impersonal as a dentist's office. Sure, they could tell her that it was her nest, and they would encourage her to set her pillows and blankets up exactly how she wants, purring and complimenting how cozy and comfortable it looks as she does it. But... it's not hers. Even if the blankets and pillows from herapartment's nest are there, even if they smell like her and them, it's still not right.
Tomorrow she will be somewhere else, and this nest will be someone else's. Or maybe it won't even be a nest at all, maybe some betas or an alpha will rent the room... and that thought makes a growl build in her chest that she quickly stamps down as her head swims with the realness and unrealness of it all blending together in a confusing swirl in her head.
The sterile de-scented fluffy duvets and pillows that the hotel provided make her nose itch. They remind her of the de-scented rubber mattress that she had lain on for days in the basement of the prison, and all the times she had had to deconstruct the warm, safe nests she built in their prison cell so they could make the beds properly to pass inspection.
The thought of that place is what finally pushes her over the limit, filling her with enough dread that she can't lay in this not-nest anymore.
She gets out of the bed and starts pacing, wringing her hands and trying not to stare at the pack-sized hotel bed where all three of her mates were still lying in the not-nest.
This space is not four paces across, not like the cell was. This space takes twenty-four steps to reach the other side of the room. She counts it in her head as she goes. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four. Turn.
She can feel concern emanating from all three of her mates in the bed, and shame wriggles in her belly. She had held it together better in prison. She didn't know why she's falling apart now, except that there was too much space. Too much possibility. Too much room to fall apart now.
Besides, she knew no matter what, they would hold her together.Whether in prison, in a shitty apartment, or in a hotel room whose nightly rate she couldn't have afforded with two month's wages.
Somewhere in the haze of her panic, Tenor orders food from what looks like every kind of takeout imaginable. Burgers, pizza, shawarma, sushi, pho, momos, and barbacoa tacos are offered to her in turns. She dutifully takes a few bites of each, but soon finds herself pacing again, wringing her hands and trying not to look at the not-nest.
Julius seems to think he can purr and sweet talk the bag of feral hamsters that is her excuse for a brain into calm submission. He's never far away, softly rumbling, praising her for what a good nest she's built, admiring how good her ass looks in those panties, telling her how happy he is to finally have her in his arms, how beautiful she is.
