Page 85 of Savage Blooms
“I understand,” Eileen said, wishing someone would come put a knife through her heart and end this misery for all of them. Maybe that was the simplest escape route. No lies or scheming needed, no collateral damage, just Eileen and her legacy bleeding out on the kitchen floor. She knew herself too well to think she was magnanimous enough to release either Adam or Nicola from their death spiral of lust and lies: it would take eliminating her from the picture entirely for either of them to be free.
“I’m glad to hear it,” Nicola said, polishing off her own tea. “I certainly wouldn’t want Finley to grab me like that, so there’s no reason he should be grabbing you.”
“Finley is right about some things. I can be spoiled and selfish. To put a finer point on it, I can be absolutely awful to people.” Eileen yanked on her mental reins,reminding herself not to wander too close to the whole truth. “I’m trying to be better. And I want us all to be friends, at least.”
“I think we already are. Although I should probably come clean about something…”
Nicola scraped her thumbnail along the faded painted flowers on the side of her teacup.
“What could you possibly have to confess?” Eileen asked with a laugh. Nicola wasn’t afraid to show her teeth, that was true, but Eileen had a hard time imagining that Nicola could have done anything under her roof worth being secretive about. She seemed too earnest, too sweet-natured.
“I made some accusations to Adam about you a few days ago.”
“Accusations?” Eileen echoed, her smile already fading.
“I got upset the night you and Adam found that picture of his grandfather as a child. I think I just felt… on the outside of things. I got it into my head that you had some sinister grand plan for him you weren’t telling us about.”
Eileen couldn’t scrape together two words so she just looked at Nicola, hoping her expression was neutral. Hoping that the deafening pounding of her heart didn’t give her away.
“I know you have secrets,” Nicola went on, voice a little softer. “And they’re yours to keep. But I hope you’ll share some of them with me, in time.”
“That’s very kind,” Eileen said, voice thick. Somehow, Nicola’s generous patience was worse than any.
“Do you want to play a game with me?” Nicola went on.
The Confession game flashed through Eileen’s mind, and for a moment she thought Nicola might be propositioning her. It was enough to make her lightheaded.
“A game?” she repeated, throat dry.
“Not that kind of game,” Nicola said with a titter. Was Eileen imagining it, or was there a faint blush in Nicola’s cheeks? “I was thinking cards or Scrabble. I’m pretty decent at Scrabble, actually. You have all those board games in the parlor. You like games, right? It might be a soothing activity.”
Eileen found, to her horror, that the walls of ice around her heart were beginning to thaw in the presence of Nicola Fairweather. It was as natural as an iced-over loch coming back to life in the presence of the spring sun, but it was still horrifying. Eileen wasn’t in the business of caring about people. Historically, she was terrible at it.
But perhaps, for Nicola, it was worth it to try.
Perhaps, this time, it wouldn’t all end in ruin.
“That’s a lovely idea,” Eileen said, and gave Nicola’s hand a squeeze. “I can show you a game I like.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Finley
Finley walked ahead of Adam with his hands thrust deep into his pockets and his mouth set into a grim line. He kept walking, saying nothing at all, until he came to a small stone bridge Eileen’s father had constructed over a babbling brook. Finley had come here with Eileen countless times as a child to look at the ducks and toss stones into the water, or by himself as a man to brood. He slumped against the railing, flicking a stray leaf down into the water below.
“Nice day,” Adam ventured, sidling up to Finley.
Finley huffed through his nose. The day was dreary and ugly, just like his heart.
“You can go back to the house, you know,” Finley said. “You don’t need to play counselor; I’m not going to hurl myself into the river. Eileen would probably be grateful to see you.”
“I don’t want to see Eileen right now, I want to see you,” Adam said, leaning over the railing so he could look into Finley’s face.
Finley flickered a glance his way, taking in those earnest blue eyes, that curving, thin mouth.
I want to see you.Finley knew Adam hadn’t meant it this way, but it was impossible not to ruminate on the fact that Eileen was the only one who had ever reallyseenhim, not as the hired help or as someone’s wayward son, but as a person. People looked past Finley all the time. It was his job as a staff member to be invisible, after all. But Eileen had always seen him, really seen him, as intelligent and strong, and when he had revealed his dark desires to her, she had responded in kind. She looked at all that wanting, all that ugliness and selfishness, and saw someone worthy of love.
Maybe that’s why he was addicted to her.
