Page 17 of Dearly Unbeloved
“Hard liquor?” Jazz asks at the exact moment Maggie says, “A toast?”
“I’ll grab some champagne.” Cal jumps up quickly, like he’s been waiting for an excuse to leave the table.
My parents are suspiciously silent. In fact, I haven’t heard a peep out of them since I broke the news. “Mom, Dad, you guys have been pretty quiet.”
My dad sighs, his lips pressed together in a thin line. Intheory, Xan is his double, but there’s a softness to my brother that I’ve never seen on my dad’s face. “I don’t really have anything to say, Rose.”
“Well, I have plenty to say!” my mom interjects, because of course she does. “How could you do this to us, Rose? We tolerated Jazz’s weddingthingbecause she’s always been a bit, well, you know…”
Liam looks like he’s about to boil over, but Jazz places a hand on his chest and shakes her head.
“But now this? You’ve taken away our last chance to see one of our children have an actual wedding!”
None of us has a chance to respond before she stands up, clutches her hand to her forehead, and leaves the room. My dad follows her, and the familiar sinking feeling of disappointing my parents rears its head. It’s been a while.
It shouldn’t matter—itdoesn’tmatter. This isn’t real. There’s no need for the sudden, screaming urge to apologize and promise to do better that overtakes me. But old habits never really die. They lie dormant, ready to wrap their claws around you and suck you back into whatever dark cloud you were so happy to finally escape.
“Did they forget about me? I could have a wedding,” Xan grumbles.
“To who? I’m pretty sure the last time you went on a date, you were in college, and we all know you’re in love with Kami,” Jazz replies with a snort, easing a little of the tension around the table. Kami has been Xander’s best friend for as long as they’ve both been alive, and he is, without a doubt, in love with her. She has the sweetest four-year-old daughter, Lexi, and a god-awful husband.
Sierra nudges me lightly with her shoulder. “Hey. Are you okay?” she asks quietly, and I’m not sure which is worse: my parents acting exactly like they always do, or her acting differently. She actually looks concerned, though it’s probably more because of how my parents have been with Jazz tonight.
“I’m fine,” I snap, and the concern melts off her face. Beside her, Eliza and Danisha exchange a look. Fuck. Newlyweds don’t snap at each other like that. “I’m sorry, I’m just stressed. I should go talk to them,” I add on.
“You want me to come with?” Sierra asks, but Xan answers before I can.
“We’ve got it. No need for anyone else to have to deal with any more Cannon bullshit today,” he says, pushing away from the table.
Jazz gives Liam a kiss before standing up, and I’m not sure what possesses me to copy her, but I lean in and kiss Sierra’s cheek without thinking about it. It’s softer than I expected. She widens her eyes, but quickly schools her expression into neutrality.
“I’m here if you need me,” she says, playing along without flinching. Shit, she’s better at this than me.
We find my parents sitting in Maggie and Cal’s living room, both silent. My mom is clearly upset, and my dad is clearly pissed, but it’s not like they’ve ever gone out of their way to comfort each other. Why start now?
“What more could you possibly have to throw at us?” My mom sniffles, and I’m not entirely convinced her dramatics aren’t forced.
Xan drops onto the couch opposite them. “Don’t youthink you’re being a little unreasonable, Mom? It’s understandable to be upset that you didn’t see Rose get married, but it’s not like she planned to exclude you specifically.”
“Exactly,” I say as Jazz and I sit beside him. “Honestly, it was a spur-of-the-moment thing, and you know me, I don’t like a fuss, so it worked out perfectly. It’s not that we didn’t want you there.”
She’s actually pouting, and it would be hilarious if it wasn’t directed at me. “You know, sometimes it feels like I can’t do anything right. Am I just the worst mom in the world or something?”
Past Rose would have jumped in immediately to reassure her. She’s probably expecting it, considering she loves to throw out the same thing anytime we don’t all immediately bend over backwards to accommodate her feelings over our own. After so many times, it no longer hits quite so hard.
Xan sighs. “No one is calling you a bad mom.”
She sniffles, wiping away a nonexistent tear. Jesus. I hope I didn’t inherit her acting skills, or I’ll never be able to pull off this sham of a marriage.
“It’s like the three of you are a team, and we’re not important in your lives. After everything we’ve done for you.”
“The three of us are supposed to be a team,” Jazz says, and I can tell her patience is wearing thin. “That’s the whole point of siblings. You should find it comforting that no matter what happens, we’re all here for each other. Do you have any idea how lucky we are to have that? Liam never had that, and Maggie doesn’t talk to her siblings anymore.The three of us will always have each other, even when we don’t have you.”
I look up at her, surprised, and notice Xan doing the same. We’ve never been close, and, though things have been better over the past year, I didn’t realize she felt so strongly about us.
“It would be nice to feel included in your lives more,” Mom says.
“We can do that, right?” Jazz asks me and Xan, and we both murmur our agreement. It’s not like I have much going on in my life that’s worth sharing. I’ll be sure to let them know about the divorce, I guess.
