Page 29 of Dearly Unbeloved
My feet take me across the apartment before I can stop them, but I pause before raising my fist. I can’t take this back, and Sierra’s already spiraling about things. But maybe she just needs an outlet. And I could be that outlet.
I knock—three short taps on the door.
There’s a rustling noise before Sierra answers, soundingjust as pissed off as she was before she disappeared. “What do you want?”
“Can I come in?”
“I’d rather you didn’t. Do you have to?”
“I want to talk.”
I hear her huff. “Fine.”
The hinges creak as I force open the door—force, because Sierra has clearly just dropped her leather pants where she was standing. Jesus, it’s a mess in here.
I’m pretty sure if you looked up maximalist on Pinterest, Sierra’s room would pop up. There are bright splashes of color everywhere, from the pink quilted headboard to the yellow and blue floral comforter. The walls are covered in shelves with little trinkets, frames with completely mismatched art prints, and there’s a giant lesbian flag hanging above her bed with a smudged Sharpie autograph I’ve never been able to make out. And then there’s the plants. There have to be three dozen, if not more, dotted around the room. I have no idea how she sleeps in here—it’s so chaotic.
She’s lying in bed, the comforter pulled up to her chin.
“I’m kind of busy,” she says. “Did you miss that I was clearly planning on spending some alone time with my vibrator?”
“I’ve seen your vibrator—you leave it in the bathroom after cleaning it sometimes—and, if you’re planning on staying celibate for the next three months, you really should upgrade.”
She gasps as I perch on the edge of her bed. As messy asher room is, it smells amazing. Like a less overwhelming Bath & Body Works.
“Don’t offend Olivia Newton-John like that!”
“You… named your vibrator after Olivia Newton-John?”
Sierra shrugs and sits up, pulling the covers with her. “I was going through a Grease phase when I bought it. And I would very much like to be using her right now, so can you get whatever you want to say out of the way so I can carry on?”
“Patience is a virtue, you know.”
“I swear to god, Rose, I?—”
I hold up a hand. “Okay, okay. I wanted to say that I don’t understand why marriage is so important to you?—”
“Yeah, I got that,” she interrupts, and I take a deep breath.
“This is going to take a lot longer if you keep interrupting.”
Sierra mimes zipping her lips and gestures for me to continue.
“As I was saying, I don’t understand, but I do recognize that you probably have a different outlook on marriage, considering how different our upbringings were. Look, I don’t like you. You don’t like me. I get that this isn’t what you dreamed about as a kid, and if you want to call this now, we can get a lawyer and figure out the divorce stuff tomorrow.”
She narrows her eyes at me, clearly suspicious. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
“I’m not being nice, I’m being pragmatic.If you’re going to keep having meltdowns like you did earlier, this isn’t maintainable.”
“Right,” she scoffs. “The damage is done now. We might as well see it through.”
“Alright. Well, on that note, if you want me to stay celibate while we’re married, I can do that,” I offer.
Sierra raises a brow. “You don’t need to do that.”
“Good. Because I don’t want to.” I take a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “What if you didn’t sleep with anyone else? What if you slept with me?”
Sierra stares at me like I’ve grown a second head. “I—what?”
