Page 56 of Dearly Unbeloved
“What do you mean?”
“People give them just for show. My parents, for example. They barely tolerate each other, but my dad always bought my mom extravagant floral arrangements so she could show them off to her friends and brag about how thoughtful he was. I’m pretty sure he just has a card on file with our local florist and tells them to do whatever they want.”
Sierra frowns. “That is… a very jaded view of flowers. Understandable, but you know it’s not like that for everyone, right?” I shrug, and she blows out a long breath. “Okay. Well, my family isn’t like that. We love flowers. For as long as I can remember, we’ve all gotten flowers for each other for every occasion. Or even just because we spotted someone’s favorite flowers at the store and picked them up. It was a way of showing our love.”
The difference in how we grew up really is staggering sometimes. “Your family is a real family, though. My family isn’t like that. We barely like each other, let alone flowers.”
A surprised laugh bursts from Sierra’s mouth. “What are you talking about? I don’t know your parents that well—thank god—but even I know your mom loves flowers. She literally named her daughters Jasmine and Rose. And Jazz loves flowers—and you, for the record. She has your birthflower tattooed on her ribs. Xan’s too, alongside everyone else she loves.”
“That’s what her tattoos are? I had no idea. I assumed she just got them because she thought they were pretty, like your snake tattoo.”
“I lied about my reason for getting that,” Sierra says with a guilty expression. “When he was a baby, Kyo had a toy snake called Sierra. My parents used to hiss whenever they said it—Sssiera. It was Kyo’s first word, when my mom was pregnant with me, so they named me after the snake. And roses have always been my favorite flowers.”
She lights up whenever she talks about her family, and I wish I wasn’t so jealous.
“You must miss them now that they’re so far away.”
“So much,” she says, with a wistful sigh.
“Why didn’t you move with them? I know you have a good job here, but you could find something else.” It’s not the first time I’ve wondered, but it’s not like I could ask her when we are at each other’s throats all the time.
“I love being my parents’ daughter and Kyo’s sister, but I thought it was important that I practiced just being Sierra for a while. I miss them, but I know I can survive it now.”
“Can I be honest about something?” I ask, and she holds her hands up as if to say, “What have you been doing this whole time?”
I ignore her and clear my throat. “I get jealous whenever I hear you on the phone with Kyo. I’ve always wished Xan, Jazz, and I could be so close.”
“So talk to them, honey. About that, about your parents, about you being depressed. All of it. I know Jazz wants tobe closer, too, and I don’t know Xan as well as I know the two of you, but I’d bet money he does too. You just need to let each other in.”
Just the thought of it makes me want to build my walls back up and hide under the covers, but Sierra’s arms anchor me. “I’ll think about it. And I’ll think about talking to my doctor. No promises, though.”
“It’s something,” Sierra says, surprising me by bending down and pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
“I know it doesn’t mean anything coming from me, since you, you know, hate me, but I’m proud of you for opening up about this. Thank you for trusting me with it.”
But it does mean something. It means a lot. And that scares the shit out of me.
27
SIERRA
There’s no pressure to do anything today. Just rest and take it easy.
I left a sandwich and cold brew in the fridge. Make sure you eat today. I’ll pick up dinner and we can have a quiet night.
I fed the bunnies, so you don’t need to worry about it. I bet they’d love to spend the day snuggling with you.
Promise you’ll call if you need anything. Even if it’s just to talk. I can be home in twenty minutes.
Thank you for opening up to me last night. I’m proud of?—
I know everything feels awful right now, but you just need to take one minute at a time. And you’re not on your own. You’ve got me. I care?—
The bunnies are fed and there’s food in the fridge. Text if you need anything. - S
P.S. 18 days
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