Page 75 of Dearly Unbeloved
“Rosie? What’s wrong? Talk to me.”
I take a deep breath. “I don’t want to get in the way of your night or anything, but if you’re not busy, I was wondering if I could come over, maybe?”
“You’re not getting in the way,” she says quickly. “Where are you? We’ll come pick you up.” There’s an edge to her voice I’ve never heard before, somewhere between panic and protectiveness.
“You don’t have to do that. I have my car. I’m at your office parking garage.”
“Why are you there? What’s going on?”
Of course, Sierra wouldn’t have told her what happened. We never discussed how to handle the subject of our relationship ending with our families. I thought we’d have time to do it before it was over, but she took that time away.
“When I got home from work yesterday, Sierra had moved out. And now she’s on a date with someone else at The Weather Vane. It’s over.” My voice cracks into nothing on the last word, and I squeeze my car keys in my hand until the metal bites into my palm with a sharp pain.
“Shit. I’m so sorry. We’ve got you, okay? Just come on over. We’ve got you. You’re not on your own.” Her voice is soft, like she’s talking to a frightened animal, trying to stop it from running.
But I’m so fucking tired of running from Jazz. From Xan, and the Michaelsons, and my colleagues, and everyone else who’s tried to get close to me without success. Maybe if I’d been honest about my feelings for Sierra as soon as I realized them, none of this would have happened. Or maybe it would have, but it’s been my choice to carry the weight of all my problems alone for the past twenty-six years. And I don’t have it in me anymore.
36
SIERRA
My camera roll is a shrine to Rose Cannon, and I have no idea how or when it happened. The pictures date back to the picnic, when I guess I must have snapped a picture or two because that’s what spouses do, right? At first, the pictures are all from events like that, when other people were around and we were trying to sell a lie. But over the past month, I’ve taken multiple pictures of her daily. Candid pictures of her making coffee, laughing over a funny video with Liam’s moms at family dinner, and scrolling through her laptop looking up LEGO sets since she enjoyed building the roses so much. And there are posed pictures, too. Cuddling the rabbits, looking over her shoulder at me in the shower, half-naked in my bed, with her hair fanned out around her on the pillow. There are thousands of them.
“Are you planning on torturing yourself by scrolling through your pictures all night?”
I jump and drop my phone on the table. “Shit, sorry. I’m not the best company tonight.”
Lina reaches for my hand, covering it with her own. “I didn’t come here expecting you to be all sunshine and rainbows, SiSi. I came because you’re my sister, and no one should have to deal with a broken heart alone.”
“I figured you’d be just as mad at me as Kyo.”
Lina laughs, soft and melodic. “Oh, I’m plenty mad. But I also get it. And Kyo’s a hypocrite, because he broke up with me twice when we were younger, because he was scared of his feelings. Not to mention how hard he fought his feelings for Rylan.”
One thing no one prepared me for as a little sibling was how nice it would be once Kyo met someone. He and Lina first got together when they were seventeen, and she’s been like my sister ever since. When they met Rylan a few years later, I gained a new brother, and even though I know they’re all pissed at me, Lina jumped on a plane to Seattle as soon as Kyo told her what was going on, just in case I needed her. Rylan has sent me no less than twenty animal memes, and, after our call ended so badly, Kyo just texted me a simpleI love you, SiSi. I’m here for you, no matter what.
My siblings, by blood or not, are worth their weight in gold. And so are Rose’s. I hope she’s leaning on them. I would’ve liked a little more time to be sure their day out wasn’t a fluke, and she was actually going to let them in, but since when has time been known for its generosity?
“Are we going to talk about it?” Lina asks as I toy with the ring hanging from my neck. I can’t take the collar off—I don’t have the key, and I’m not willing to break it. So I took my ring off instead, then cried in my hotel room for hours.But even though I don’t deserve any part of the ring anymore, I couldn’t separate myself from it completely, so I hung it from a chain like I did before anyone knew we were married. It looks fucking stupid on top of the collar, but my dark circles and bloodshot eyes look stupid too, so at least I’m consistent.
“There’s nothing I want to do less than talk about it,” I say, taking a swig of my watered-down soda. Alcohol would be preferable, but I can’t be trusted with it right now.
My phone lights up on the table, vibrating as Jazz’s grinning face smiles up at us. Shit.
“I take it back. I want to answer that less,” I groan.
Lina slides the phone closer to me. “Answer it. You have to see her at work in a couple of days, so you have to talk to her.”
She’s right, but I don’t like it. I grab the phone and answer the call. “Hi.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
I wince as Jazz shouts down the line. Oh, she’s pissed. I knew she would be. I expected this, but it still fucking sucks.
“I can—” I don’t get more than two words out before she’s ranting.
“I can’t believe you, Sierra. What the fuck? You walk out on my sister without so much as a goodbye, with no explanation, and now you’re on a date with someone else. I know you have commitment issues, but this is on another level. How could you do this to Rose?”
I sigh, leaning my head on my hand. “It’s more complicatedthan it seems, and—wait, what? What do you mean, I’m on a date with someone else?”
