Page 78 of Dearly Unbeloved
Jazz and I both pause our pacing and stare at each other. I look away first, sighing and dropping into a metal chair across the little waiting room from the rest of the Cannons and Michaelsons. I expect Jazz to take the empty seat beside Liam, but she sits beside me instead.
“She’s okay,” she says, sounding more like she’s trying to reassure herself than me.
“She is,” I confirm. “Are you okay?”
“I just need to see her. They’ll let us in soon.”
Us. I don’t fit in here, with Rose’s family, who love her and treat her well. Not her parents, mind you. I don’t know who the hell called them, but I don’t fit with everyone else.
“Who’s here for Rose Cannon?” a doctor calls, and half the waiting room stands up: her siblings, parents, the Michaelsons, and a few of her colleagues. Me. The doctor looks just out of med school and seriously overwhelmed by how many people are watching him expectantly. “Um. I don’t think you’ll all fit, but I can take the family through now.”
Rose’s parents, Xan, and Jazz all start toward the doctor, but Jazz stops when she realizes I’m not following.
“You’re not coming?”
I wring my hands. I want nothing more than to follow them, to push Rose’s parents aside and see with my own two eyes that she’s okay. But it’s not my place. “I don’t belong in there, Jazz. Not anymore.”
Jazz crosses her arms and takes a deep breath. “Okay. We’ve all been dancing around this for months, and I’m not doing it anymore. I don’t know why you and Rose decided to stay married. We all know it wasn’t real, but it doesn’t matter. That was then. This is now, and it is real. It’s so fucking obvious, Sierra. And I trust you have your reasons for ending things like you did, but whatever reason you think is good enough to lose her over? It’s not. I promise. So get your shit together before you lose her for good.”
I stare, open-mouthed, at her. “What do you mean you knew it wasn’t real? What was with you telling me youknew you could trust me because marriage was so important to me that I’d never do anything to mess with that?”
“I was trying to guilt trip you into quitting while you were ahead, or committing,” she replies with a shrug. “Did it work?”
Did it ever. If it wasn’t for her getting in my head, I probably wouldn’t have gone to the bar that night, and I’d never have left because it felt wrong sleeping with someone who wasn’t my wife. Rose and I wouldn’t have hooked up, knocking our world off its axis.
“Clearly it didn’t work well enough,” I say, torn between being furious with her for trying to manipulate me and furious at myself because she saw right through me. They all saw right through me.
“Well, here’s another guilt trip,” Jazz says. “Rose could’ve died today thinking you didn’t love her. And you would’ve had to live with that for the rest of your life.”
“Jazz,” Liam chides softly from his seat.
She holds her hands up. “Hey, once upon a time, I had to hear the hard truths, too. I’m just passing the baton.”
She walks away before I can respond, and I fall back into my chair, closing my eyes and squeezing them tight so I don’t cry. I hope none of Rose’s colleagues heard that. If she lost her promotion after everything, I would never forgive myself. As it is, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself.
I shouldn’t be here, but I can’t bring myself to leave. I need to be close to her right now.
Maggie sits beside me and takes my hand. Her expression is softer than Jazz’s. “Sixty-one days.”
“What?” I ask, more confused than ever.
“Sixty-one days. That’s how long Cal and I were apart after I walked out on him. And I know it might not seem like much in the grand scheme of a long relationship, but it’s my biggest regret, Sierra.” Her deep blue eyes are haunted. I didn’t know Maggie and Cal then—Cal hired me after he and Maggie got back together, when she decided not to return to Michaelson and Hicks. It’s hard to imagine them as anything less than happy together.
“Time is the most precious thing we have,” she continues, and it’s like I can hear all sixty-one days of regret in her voice. “And I know Rose is a good thirty years younger than Cal, so maybe it doesn’t feel as pressing, but the explosion is just proof that there are no guarantees. Trust me, there is never enough time. I would burn the world to the ground to get those sixty-one days back. You have thirteen days you’re going to regret for the rest of your life. Don’t make it fourteen.”
39
ROSE
“Oh, my poor baby.” My mom fluffs my pillow for the hundredth time since she stormed into my room, and I bite my tongue. I don’t know who called my parents, but they’re officially on my shit list.
My dad is pacing back and forth by the door with a face like thunder. “We’re going to sue them, Rose. Just you wait. Cal can help us with that, right, Jazz?”
“We’re not suing anyone,” I interject before Jazz can respond. “It was an accident. They’re paying my hospital bills, and I’m getting as much paid time off as I need to recover.” Thank god, considering I’m not sure how I would work with one arm out of commission. I’m left-handed, at least, so I’m not totally useless with my right arm in the cast.
My head is pounding. It’s somehow worse than the morning Sierra and I woke up hungover in Vegas. And with that thought, my heart is aching too.
“You okay, Rosie?” Unlike my parents, Xan keeps his voice low.
