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Twenty Years Ago…

I cling to Taylor’s hand as she leads me up some metal stairs. She’s so big and strong and she always makes everything okay. Even when Daddy is angry. But Daddy’s not here to be angry now. He’s been gone for so many sleeps and my tummyisangry. It growls real loud and Taylor turns to smile down at me.

‘Nearly there, okay?’

I nod, my mouth watering for the fish and chips she’s promised. But I don’t understand why we’ve come this way. The lady handing out food is at the front of the red-brick building and we’re sneaking up the steps round back…

She raps on the peeling blue door at the top and it swings open. A boy about Taylor’s age appears. Glasses shoved into his messy hair, a big smile, and eyes as green as the dino teddy clutched in my hand. I find myself smiling with him.

‘Theo, this is my little sister, Mercedes. Sadie, this is my friend, Theo.’

‘Hey,’ he says to me, his smile softening. ‘You hungry?’

I nod so much, I feel like my head’s gonna fall off, and he laughs.

‘Come on then.’

We head inside. The hallway is dark and gloomy, but as we pass through to the living room, everything brightens. I don’t know if it’s the light coming through one big window, or the food teasing at my nose, but things feel better already.

‘Mum gave us a selection,’ Theo says, walking up to the coffee table and grabbing a paper-wrapped package off the top of a stack. He peels it open. The hot, yummy scent building as he hands it to me. ‘These are the best fish and chips in all of Hackney.’

My eyes bug out over the food mountain and Dino falls to the floor forgotten.

‘Thanks, Theo,’ Taylor says for me as I start tucking in as fast as I can, eyes bouncing between the food and Theo. ‘She doesn’t speak much.’

‘Neither do I, to be fair.’

He gives me a wink and I feel my tummy flip over.

I like Theo. I like him a lot.

8

THEO

I’m not sure what’s more surprising: Sadie agreeing to stay out, or the sight I make right now – sitting on a pink chequered blanket, a cucumber sandwich in one hand, a chilled beer in the other, enough food to feed an army, and a teddy bear sharing my plate.

Becauseallpicnics require bears. It’s a rule, apparently.

If Axel could see me now, he’d die laughing.

But he’s not. And I am. Laughing, that is.

My phone’s muted, work with it, and I’m all about getting Sadie to laugh with me. That is until Lottie starts squealing the park down… and not in a good way.

She bolts into Sadie’s lap, her face a picture of sheer terror as she stares down an approaching pigeon. Apparently, her love of giant, white birds doesn’t extend to small, grey chubsters. Go figure.

‘Hey, it’s okay, honey,’ Sadie coos, stroking her hair. ‘It’s just a pigeon.’

I flick my hand out. ‘Shoo!’

The pigeon barely flinches, its beady eyes locked on the crushed delight in Lottie’s hand as it continues its waddling approach. There’s no accounting for taste…

‘What’s in that thing?’ I chuckle out. ‘Crack?’

‘Theo!’ Sadie gasps, eyes laughing despite her outrage.

‘Sorry, I mean… pigeon-nip?’