Page 10 of Desperate Games
So yeah. I’m home.
In my flannel pajama pants, hiding a pregnancy test under a hand towel, and trying not to have a full-on meltdown.
Like that’s even possible.
Chapter Two-Andrea
I glance at the counter.
“Andrea! Come on!” Julia wails.
Still one minute left.
My stomach twists.
Why am I like this?
Why do I want this so badly?
A husband? No. Been there, almost done that, got the emotional scars.
A boyfriend? Eh. Maybe. If he’s funny, loyal, and obsessed with me.
But a baby? A family?
Yes. A hundred times, yes.
That’s the dream. Always has been.
And yeah, I know it’s not trendy or modern or feminist to admit that out loud these days. But I don’t care.
I want to be a mom.
I want sticky fingers and lullabies and crayon drawings on the fridge. I want chaos and love and sleepless nights that matter.
Is that so wrong?
The timer beeps.
I inhale. Exhale.
Pick up the stick.
My heart sinks.
One line.
Not pregnant.
My lips tremble. My eyes sting. I blink up at the ceiling like that’ll stop the tears from coming.
It doesn’t.
Goddamn it.
Why does this hurt so much?
It wasn’t even a plan. Just an idea. A wild one. A stupid one, maybe. But still, somewhere deep inside, I let myself hope.
