Page 87 of Under the Mistletoe
“It doesn’t matter what I want. I can’t do it. I tried and tried. Every attempt has fallen short of what they want.”
“Have you prayed about it?” She tried again. “Have you asked God?—”
“Writing was fun for a while. But I think I need to look into a real career. Time to be more practical.” He spun his mug in his hand. “Turns out I’m replaceable. Always have been.”
Shoot.He hadn’t meant to say that last bit out loud.
“What does that mean?” The hurt in his mom’s voice was unmistakable.
“Nothing. I love you guys. I have no complaints about my childhood.”
“But?” His father’s knowing gaze met his.
“But sometimes I felt like the extra. You wanted one more child, but surprise, you got two. Liam was the one everyone wanted around. I was just the extra.”
“I’m sorry you ever felt that way.” His mom seemed to be blinking back tears. “I never felt that way.”
Everyone was looking at him, shaking their head. Well, everyone but Liam. His face was twisted in confusion. “Are you kidding? I always liked hanging out with you more than hanging out with myself.”
Everyone laughed at this. And all of a sudden, something Libby said sank in. “Did you say Hannah is watching nine kids?”
“We are officially foster parents of the Wallis kids.” A bit of twinkle was in his mom’s eyes. “It’s temporary, of course, but they will be with us through Christmas.”
If he’d felt a nudging before, the thought of those kids in his family’s home brought the desire to help them hammering in full force. He wanted them.
But what did he have to offer? He didn’t even have a job anymore.
“Speaking of which, we really do need to go.” His mom stood and set her mug on the counter. Then wrapped him in a hug. “I love you. And whatever God has planned, I know He’s still at work in you. But this is something you need to figure out on your own.”
God at work in him? Maybe. Logan walked over to his computer at the dining room table and pulled out the thumb drive. “Can you send these to Christina for me? Her email address is in there too. And let me figure this out in my own time.”
When they all gave a noncommittal nod, he crossed his arms in front of his chest. “No more meddling. Promise?”
He waited until each had nodded their agreement, then he took turns hugging them. They headed out to the car, leaving just Liam. His brother dropped a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. “Don’t wait too long. Sometimes you don’t get a second chance.”
The distant look in Liam’s eyes spoke of pain. His brother still hadn’t shared what had brought him home so suddenly, but Logan would bet that was where his mind was at now.
He didn’t make any promises because he was pretty sure there was no good way out of this.
* * *
If today’s chapter was worse, Devin didn’t know if she had the strength to read it, and yet she didn’t think she had the strength not to read it either. The morning sun was just peeking in the window, and she glanced at the clock, but what was the point? She didn’t have a job to get to. She rolled over in her bed, tucking her comforter under her chin as she glanced at her phone. Chapter twenty-three still hadn’t arrived.
He wasn’t just throwing away their relationship, he’d be throwing away his career if he wasn’t careful. Devin pulled up the previous chapters and began skimming them, taking in the fact he was facing rejection of book four through all of it.
And suddenly it all read differently.
She could see the similarities to their romance tangled in. But more than that, she saw that Astryn was his future. He loved writing, but it was just out of his reach. He no longer believed he could do it or that he deserved it.
This went beyond their romance.
Logan, a.k.a. Victor Holt, was afraid he was going to lose everything, and he just might.
Her phone dinged with an incoming email. The next chapter. Devin pulled it up.
Stone of Anwar: Chapter 23
Enough was enough. They had been in Kenthor for over a week, and not only were they no closer to discovering Orin’s killer, but Rand was avoiding being alone with her at every turn. Astryn yelled for a stableman and ordered her horse to be readied. She wasn’t even in acceptable riding attire, but she wasn’t about to let another moment go by until Rand had heard her out.
