Page 109 of Bad Seed
Just another veggie in the fridge while blood seeps under the kitchen counter.
“My parents were dead. My Lolo—the only one who took me in, who taught me, who would tell the worst jokes in the world, and sent me packing when I turned eighteen but still loved me… Dead.” My legs give out, and I collapse to the bed. If I think about that day too hard my nose fills with the stench of burning sugarcane. “And there’s Mr. Ato, offering his condolences and a job offer. I thought…I thought that’s good money for a medic.”
“A medic?”
In my mental lashing, I almost forget she’s here.
“I was trained to be a medic. Eighteen. Signed up. Made it a year or more before, well…” The army wasn’t going to be my life. It was just a way to get off of Cebu and do anything other than harvest sugarcane while suffering tourists. “I lost my family and picked up a new one.
“Mr. Ato was good to me.” Even after everything he’s done, I can’t help it. I still think back fondly to those early days. “At first. Treated me like…better than his son.” I shiver and glance up like I’ve said the name of a demon about to pop out through a mirror. Only Sadie’s watching. “But he knew I had my limits. That I’d play spy when needed, even rough a few people up who threatened the family. Then the docks.”
Warm fingers glance over mine and I startle. How long was I staring at nothing. Sadie doesn’t sit beside me, but she stands nearer. “What happened?”
“I wasn’t supposed to be there. Red got sick. Bad clams.” I’m stalling, trying to say anything other than what I saw in that shipping crate. “I didn’t know what they were moving. Assets. That was the term. We were always moving assets. I never asked what. I didn’t think. No, I didn’t want to know. Cause if I found out the truth then…”
“Was it people?”
I gulp, my first instinct to deny as I had for months after. But the doubt wouldn’t leave me. No matter what dragon I chased as distraction it was always waiting there, asking. Did I know?
Could I have stopped it?
“People…like me. He was smuggling in veggie shifters. The thing is, we’re still awake in that form. We hear everything. When the seas got rough, or maybe they were scared they’d be found out, they turned back into human. And…”
I stand, needing to pace to get away from myself.
“And?” Sadie asks, hanging on my every word.
Why’s she even here? Why did they take her? If she’d been a one-night fuck then she’d be back home happily taking pictures of zucchini while I’m in Mexico drinking myself into a lonely stupor. Why did she text me? Cling to me?
Why didn’t I let her go?
My hand scoops up the scattered remains of the tacos—lettuce and diced tomatos gathering in my palm. She watches, her lip quirked as if she’s about to ask a million questions. But she isn’t. Why?
Did they take that from her too?
“This.” I hold up my hand, then squeeze, flattening the tomatoes to paste.
Her eyes go wide, and she slaps a hand to her mouth.
“The only survivor was Astin who’d also stowed away.” I don’t tell her that it wasn’t just Nightshades. He was shipping Brassicas too, and they weren’t happy with the loss of their people. There was a gun fight. I took one in the leg and would have bled out if not for my belt. The other side fared far worse in the end.
I never learned what Mr. Ato paid for that mistake. Maybe even he doesn’t know the full extent of what he lost. “Life’s cheap in my world. A couple bucks a pound. I’m a bad man. You should…you should stay the fuck away from me.”
The bedspread rustles, and I sense a form drawing closer, but I don’t look up. I can’t face her eyes drenched in hatred for me—even if I deserve it.
“That’s why you left.” Her voice carries around the room, and I try to shrink inside myself. “It’s me, isn’t it?”
My jaw drops, and I’m drawn to her. I brace for tears, but her face shines with surprising clarity.
“I kept thinking he got scared. He realized that I’m too much to handle. And he left. That’s what you did, right?”
“I couldn’t… The sight of you on the floor, gasping for breath. Hearing that it’s me you’re allergic to. I had to get out. I had to get away.”
“Why?” The sharp clang of pain rattles in her word.
“I’ve dabbled in a lot ofsubstancesin my life.” I lift my head and take her in. Even as she’s brimming with sorrow and hatred for me, my body pleads for hers. “But not a one of them intoxicates…devours me the way you do.”
Sadie gasps as if she hasn’t noticed.
