Page 34 of The Beekeeper's Cottage
Amos nodded. ‘And do they really have bad moods, or is that just an old wives’ tale?’
‘No, not at all,’ replied Grace. ‘They don’t like stormy weather, but there are also days when, for no reason that I can deduce, they just seem “off”. Before I knew any better, I’ve opened the hive on days like that and immediately regretted it. A bee loses its life when it stings, so to do so is a very last resort. It’s a salutary and very humbling lesson to learn that your inattentiveness or arrogance has caused their deaths.’
Amos almost stumbled as Grace’s words reached him. He had not expected such a stark reminder of his past on a day like today, with so much beauty around him, and it was all he could do to keep walking; grateful at least that he was following behind. Most people didn’t notice the tremor of emotion that ran through Amos at times, but Grace would, and he had no wish to cause her any more anguish; she’d had enough of that over recent days. He tried to concentrate on the task at hand, knowing that he needed to approach the bees with a calm stillness that right now was distinctly at odds with how he was feeling.
‘I like the way you talk about your bees,’ he said, hoping that Grace would be able to pick up the conversation again.
‘Well, I like the way you like the way I talk about my bees,’ she replied. He couldn’t see her face, but he could hear the smile in her voice. ‘Not everyone gets it, or, worse, they make no attempt to understand it. Anyone who takes even just a few moments to consider what bees do for us would realise how much they deserve our respect.’
She suddenly stopped and Amos almost crashed into her back.
‘In fact,’ she continued, obviously having paused for thought. ‘That’s true for most things, isn’t it? I like to think I’m a great respecter of all living beings. Every life has value whether we consider it to be big or small, important or irrelevant. It’s certainly not for us to choose which one of those it is, they should all have equal merit.’
She turned around to face him, frowning. ‘Well, I try at least. I’m not sure I always succeed,’ she added. ‘There have been quite a few occasions when I could cheerfully have murdered my husband.’
Amos stared at her, his heart beginning to beat uncomfortably fast in his chest. He knew that her comment about Paul was a flippant one, but the conversation was becoming increasingly dangerous, straying onto subjects that he had no wish to discuss, not in Grace’s company anyway. He visited them often enough in his dreams.
He cleared his throat to try and dislodge the tight ball of anxiety there, but he really had no idea what he was going to say.
‘Amos… are you all right? You’ve gone very pale all of a sudden.’ Grace was searching his face and her scrutiny was hard to bear. She touched the back of her hand to his forehead gently. ‘And you’re boiling hot…’
He swallowed, nodding as best he could, but Grace’s words had struck at his very heart. ‘Sorry… I’m fine, just a little light-headed. I suffer from low blood pressure from time to time. It’ll pass.’ He took a few deep breaths. He hadn’t intended to lie, but his need for self-preservation overrode everything.
‘So you probably feel dizzy then? Amos, you should have said instead of letting me ramble on. We can look at the bees another time, it’s no problem. But you ought to sit down or something…’
He smiled gratefully. He’d had no idea that the conversation was going to take this turn, but did he carry on and hope that they could return to discussing safer subjects? Or put some distance between him and Grace? Although that hardly seemed fair, it wasn’t her fault he’d reacted badly. But then he thought back to the very start of their conversation.
‘Sorry, would you mind?’ he replied. ‘I’m conscious that my head isn’t in the right place to greet the bees at all, and the last thing I want is to keel over while we’re at the hive. I think another time might be better, but I was really looking forward to it. This doesn’t happen very often, don’t worry…’
She took hold of his arm gently. ‘Come on, come back inside and I’ll get you a drink.’ She gave him another appraising glance. ‘Look, there’s no easy way of saying this, so I’m just going to come out with it, okay? But, given your… circumstances… do you ever even get to see a doctor? What do you do about medication?’
Amos could have kicked himself. Given Grace’s nature he should have known she would react this way. He plastered a reassuring smile onto his face.
‘This is nothing, really. And I could go and see a doctor if I needed to, don’t worry. But, like I said, I don’t get it very often and it isn’t something I’ve ever needed to see anyone about.’ He pulled a face. ‘More self-diagnosed actually… but usually I am in extraordinarily good health.’ He pulled himself up tall and grinned.
‘And you’re not going to let on otherwise,’ added Grace, peering at him shrewdly. ‘Okay, I’m backing off… but we’re still going to have that drink.’
So Amos began to follow her again, but in the other direction. And by the time they made it back to the house he made damn sure that he was ‘feeling’ better.
‘Oh God, I feel such an idiot,’ he said, taking a seat in the kitchen as directed. ‘I feel absolutely fine now.’
Grace handed him a packet of biscuits. ‘Right, well the kettle’s on. Get a couple of those down you as well for good measure, just in case. They won’t hurt.’ She gave him another once-over. ‘You do look better actually, but the bees can wait until another day. Apart from the fact that it’s always a good idea to get in the right frame of mind whenever you approach them, I want you to enjoy the experience, not be worried about how you might be feeling. You won’t get half as much out of it if you don’t, and surely that’s why we’re doing it in the first place?’
Amos nodded, struggling to speak through a mouthful of biscuit crumbs. ‘Which brings me neatly to the other part of the equation,’ he said. ‘In that the beekeeping lessons were supposed to be in exchange for work that might need doing on the house, and I’m conscious of the fact that we haven’t even talked about that yet. Perhaps we could have a look at that today, instead. Flora isn’t expecting me back for a couple of hours, so we’ve got plenty of time.’
He chased a speck of biscuit from the corner of his mouth with his tongue. ‘In fact, it would probably help me to know what work there is to do here so that I can factor it in along with everything else.’ He grinned. ‘There’s rather more to do now than when I first arrived.’
Grace rolled her eyes. ‘Yes…’ She let the word slide out on the back of a long breath, but although it was tinged with a slight reticence, there was excitement there too. ‘My main problem would have been where to run workshops or courses from, and I was thinking I would have had to convert a space somewhere, but seeing as that problem has been neatly solved it’s now more a case of some cosmetic tidying up. I don’t think there’s masses to do.’
‘I can’t think how there would be, Grace. You have a beautiful home.’
Aware that there was a poignancy surrounding his words, Amos got to his feet. ‘I tell you what, why don’t we have a walk round now?’
It didn’t take long; there were six bedrooms in total, but Amos had already been in five of them when the estate agent had visited. He hadn’t entered Grace’s room, preferring not to intrude on what was a very private space when she herself wasn’t present. But it was beautiful, as he had known it would be.
‘And this is my dilemma,’ said Grace. ‘I love this room, but looking at it from a purely business point of view, so will my guests. And given that it’s twice as big as the other rooms I could charge more for it as well. It makes much more sense for me to relocate to one of the other bedrooms.’
‘Which are lovely, but nowhere near as nice,’ added Amos. ‘I also think you need to bear in mind that you’ll need somewhere of your own to go to once your house is full of people. And that somewhere should be a haven, a respite from the busyness of the rest of the house. Don’t underestimate how that will make you feel – you’ve been used to being on your own, or with just the two of you, for quite some time, and having other people around is going to take a little getting used to.’
