Page 39 of The Beekeeper's Cottage
‘Men you don’t know very well, or strange men? Be careful how you answer that, I could be very offended.’ Amos looked up at her and smiled. ‘Although in my case, I’m probably both those things.’
‘And that’s twice now I’ve embarrassed you.’
‘Grace, it’s not embarrassment I’m feeling.’ He saw no reason to hide his feelings.
‘No,’ she said quietly.
He pulled open the packet of biscuits. ‘So, am I allowed to ask what Dominic has done that’s so heinous? Although of course, if you’d rather not I—’
‘No, I want to tell you. If I don’t I think I’ll go mad. But before I do, can I just ask you something first? It’s been on my mind and I feel I owe you an apology.’
He raised his eyebrows.
‘Did I offend you the other day by asking you questions about your past? And if not offend, then upset slightly, irked a little?’
‘Not in the slightest. In fact, it’s natural that you might want to know.’
‘Then the comment I made about giving up your home. You went awfully quiet after.’
‘Did I?’
Grace gave him a look that made him realise he would never get away with denying it. He gave a rueful smile because that was precisely why he had been on his way over, to apologise to Grace. He knew he had reacted badly and he hated that even after all this time the odd comment could still trigger feelings that were utterly out of his control.
‘Because it’s none of my business why you chose to do that. Not everything in life conforms to our set way of looking at the world, does it? But I hope you know that I wasn’t being judgemental in the slightest, just interested, that’s all.’
But Amos was prepared this time. ‘Then ask me anything you like,’ he replied. ‘And I will answer.’
Grace shook her head. ‘No, that’s backing you into a corner and I have no intention of doing that either.’
Amos studied his biscuit before biting it in half and chewing slowly, but then he couldn’t help himself and, catching Grace’s eye, broke into a grin. ‘Would now be a good time to tell you that I actually came over here to apologise myself for my reaction the other day… and to offer an explanation?’
She rolled her eyes, but there was amusement in them.
‘And given that I have just askedyouto share with me the reason why you’re upset and you agreed, I feel it’s only fair that I should support your spirit of openness by going first.’ He paused as the kettle switched off with a click, then gave Grace a meaningful look. She tutted, but got to her feet and went to make their drinks.
‘You asked me the other day why I was helping you. Why I left my home and whether that was because I was seeking freedom or an escape…’
Grace groaned from across the room. ‘Thanks for reminding me how awful that sounds,’ she said. ‘I am sorry.’
‘But you have no need to be,’ countered Amos. ‘They’re reasonable questions, and the answers aren’t very exciting, I’m afraid. More just a good old-fashioned midlife crisis. I’d reached a point in my life where everything just seemed so…’ he broke off searching for the right word ‘…stultifying. Does that make sense? I’ve never married, and wasn’t in a relationship, my work was steady but unfulfilling, and I realised that I was barely able to remember what it felt like to be alive. I had already decided that travelling might be a way to reenergise my life when, purely by chance, I met a young woman in difficult circumstances who had need of somewhere to live. The solution seemed obvious, if a little crazy, but then I was ready for that and – this is where it gets a bit clichéd, I’m afraid – her reaction to what she termed my random act of kindness made me feel better about myself than I had in a long time. Deciding to combine travel with a certain hopefulness about people seemed like a good course of action. And the rest, as they say, is history.’
Grace had been watching him intently but, with a slight narrowing of her eyes as he finished his speech, she turned away to finish making the tea. It seemed to take an interminable amount of time, but eventually she carried two mugs back to the table.
‘How much history, Amos?’ she asked. ‘How long have you been away from home?’
‘Coming up five years,’ he replied.
‘Fiveyears?’ She looked incredulous. ‘And you’ve never been home in all that time?’
Amos took the opportunity to reach for another biscuit now that he had a brew to dunk it in. ‘A few times. A couple of years ago when we had a really hard winter… I enjoy a challenge, Grace, but I’m not a complete idiot.’ He grinned. ‘But apart from that, yes, pretty much continuously, although, as it happens I’m working my way back there now.’
‘Are you?’ Grace looked surprised.
‘In a roundabout way, yes. I keep in touch with Maria, that’s the woman who looks after my house for me, and so every now and again I just make sure that I head in the right direction. I’ll get there eventually.’
‘So, are we close?’
‘Not close as such, but my house is in a tiny village just across the Worcestershire border.’
